I guess the answer to “What can Brown do for you?” is “get you two years of probation.”
A 58-year-old St. Louis man named Jevons Brown managed to avoid a prison sentence after pleading guilty to sending cat turds to employees at various companies that didn’t hire him, which hopefully didn’t include the Applebee
‘s I dined at the last time I rolled through town.
According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Brown became “frustrated with his lack of employment opportunities and lashed out at employees at companies that failed to hire him” by sending them at least 20 packages filled with cat dung.
Federal court officials decided that probation was the appropriate sentence for Brown since he had no prior criminal record and now has a job. It probably also helped that he apologized and promised the court it would never happen again.
It’s unknown whether his current employer is beyond relieved that they actually hired Brown in the first place, or beyond scared to fire Brown now that they know what happens to companies that crap on him.
(via St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
More funny cat humor: 18 Very Funny Photos of Cats About To Sneeze
