Alabama Man Mistakenly Gets Penis Amputated Instead of Circumcised

Unless this guy’s father was an earthworm, that thing is pretty much a lost cause.

According to Huffington Post, an Alabama man went into a Birmingham hospital for a routine circumcision last month but instead woke up without a penis.

Johnny Lee Banks Jr. and his wife Zelda Banks are suing the Princeton Baptist Medical Center and doctors for medical malpractice for mistakenly removing his baby maker. Even crazier, Banks and his wife never received an explanation as to how in the hell something like this could happen.

Doctors had been treating Banks for unnamed conditions that led to the botched circumcision before what can only be described as the worst-case scenario took place.

The lawsuit says that “the mistaken amputation has caused the man extreme pain, and that his wife also is suffering.”

Um, no shit.

The hospital released a statement saying the lawsuit lacked merit, but if the victim’s claims are true, the lack of a boom stick should be all the evidence he’ll need to win the case.

On the bright side, maybe this means his wife won’t cheat on him: The Bigger Your Penis, The More Likely Your Wife Will Cheat

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