If there’s one thing dads love, it’s a bad joke. Unfortunately for them, we’ve only rounded up some of the funniest Father’s Day jokes that Twitter has ever seen to make the big day of celebrating dad better than you could possibly imagine. Share these with him and it’ll give you something to talk about to fill that awkward silence. Happy Father’s Day to all your dads!
Happy Father’s Day. Hold that flashlight steady so he can find that screw you made him drop.
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) June 21, 2015
A thoughtful way to honor your dad on Father’s Day is to post a picture of him on a social media site that he doesn’t know how to use.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 21, 2015
For Father’s Day, I’m giving my dad a receipt proving I got my oil changed & a detailed description of the route we took to get to his house
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 18, 2015
Happy Father’s day to all the dads out there trying to keep the front door closed so u don’t AIR CONDITION THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. COME ON
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) June 21, 2015
Father’s Day tip: forgot a gift? Drop him off at The Home Depot and let him play with all the other dads.
— luke (@internetluke) June 21, 2015
Get your dad what he really wants this Father’s Day by turning off the lights when you leave a room.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) June 18, 2015
Father’s Day is the day you find out which of your friends still call him “Daddy”
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) June 15, 2014
Happy Father’s Day to my dad even tho he NEVER ONCE surprised us by coming home from Iraq in a dramatic or funny video. 🙁
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) June 15, 2014
the apostrophe in “father’s day” indicates that this day is meant to celebrate one dad only. my guess is Gene, down the street
— chuuch (@ch000ch) June 21, 2015
Father’s Day plan:
1. Yell
2. Yell
3. Open cards & presents
4. Hugs
5. Yell
6. Yell
7. Yell— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) June 21, 2015
Happy Father’s Day to my dad who taught me that you don’t need feelings if you have sports.
— Greg Dorris (@GregDorris) June 21, 2015
Rabbit dad: more like HOPPY Father’s Day LOL
Rabbit mom: see this is why you only get weekend visitation
— PaperWash© (@PaperWash) June 21, 2015
MY DAD JUST FELL THROUGH THE CEILING OMFGSKAJSJSJA pic.twitter.com/YOFHIgTzuj
— Deric (@DericRichardson) April 4, 2014
It’s my first Father’s Day as a father and my second as a murderer I’VE SAID TOO MUCH
— Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) June 12, 2013
Being a father is thankless except for one day a year when a child gives you a bad tie you paid for. Happy Father’s Day.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) June 16, 2013
Happy Father’s Day to a group that is always forgotten: mean drunk neighbors who yell at other people’s kids. Thanks for helping out!
— Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) June 16, 2013
Giving my dad a box of rope for Father’s Day. It’s an inside joke between me and the rope
— Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) June 12, 2014
Father’s Day shopping for my dad. What store has “a tight spiral thrown by a non-pussy”?
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) June 11, 2013
Dear ladies wondering: “Should I buy a Father’s Day card for my boyfriend and make it ‘from the cat’?” No, probably not.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) June 13, 2014
Happy Father’s Day, everyone. pic.twitter.com/B0rJYlLE4i
— Dan Casey (@osteoferocious) June 21, 2015
jesus: hey dad
God: hey
jesus: happy Father’s Day
God: thanks bud
God: hey listen man so im gonna need u to die on a cross— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) June 21, 2015
My Father’s Day card to my dad is simply this:
Hey Dad, I’m not in this picture. Happy Father’s Day. pic.twitter.com/8f71r6iuox
— Amber (@Amburglar_) June 14, 2014
If your daughter is dating a club promoter, you don’t deserve a Father’s Day card.
— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) June 14, 2014
Father’s Day is about remembering the day your dad tricked your mom into believing he was wearing a condom.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) June 15, 2013
Father’s Day prank: leave your dad to get a pack of cigarettes
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) June 15, 2014
Trust me, your Father’s Day could be weirder.
— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) June 22, 2015
.@HulkHogan I watched a video of you having sex and I regret it forever happy Father’s Day
— Jeffrey Hadz (@Hadzilla) June 13, 2013
