The Most Inappropriate Valentine’s Day Cards We Could Find, Nothing Says Love Like Lengthy Internet Searches

If ever there was a greeting card holiday, Valentine’s Day is it. It’d be nice if throwing a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a dozen roses at your sweetheart would suffice, but the reality is that Feb. 14 demands heartfelt confessions in writing. Unless you fancy yourself a modern Shakespeare who can compose swoon-worthy sonnets, that means buying a greeting card.

While some might say this is the most painful part of being coupled up on V-day because it’s one task that’s near impossible to get right, we say that it’s a prime opportunity for some hilarious hijinks in greeting card form. Dirty minds think alike, and there are myriad Valentine’s Day cards that prove it. Instead of despairing over the greeting card aisle, have a laugh at these ridiculously inappropriate cards. We wish you all raunchy valentines who not only get the jokes, but are turned on by them.