Drug Smuggling Railroad Discovered on US-Mexico Border, Summer Vacation Just Got Interesting For first-timers, a quick stop-off at a Sinaloa cartel welcome center is the perfect jumping-off point for your best vacation…
Meanwhile in Seattle: Overflowing Landfills Could Become Actual Massive Dumpster Fires, City to Rebrand Its Flag Accordingly Here's how 1,200 tons of garbage turns into Dante's flaming asshole.
‘Dating Women Is Gay,’ Says America First Leader During Successful Quest to Remain Lifelong Virgin Sounds like the guy has it all figured out.
Fentanyl Vape Pen Next Hot Trend Yet to Be Discovered, Early Retirement Guaranteed to All Who Enter We like partaking in shenanigans just as much as the next person.
Mandatory TV Battles: Josh Brolin’s ‘Outer Range’ v. Kevin Costner’s ‘Yellowstone’ America's Big Country is having a moment.
Urine Is the Key to Human Survival, Claim Scientists Literally Taking the Piss Save the planet, one leak at a time.
Cameron Diaz Recreates Classic ‘There’s Something About Mary’ Scene Proving She’s Still Full of Spunk Talk about spunk.
Scientists Build New VR Tech to Simulate Kissing, Expect World Peace Once Blowjob Feature Complete There's nothing sexier than world peace.
‘That ’70s Show’ Gets ’90s Spinoff, Reminding Us Every Decade More Terrible Than Previous One It'll be an education on how to score a six-pack and dime bag without the help of an app.