More SAG Awards Stuff

Anne Hathaway is a brunette with a great rack, so you’d think it’d be scientifically impossible for her to be this boring. She’s like a Nicholas Sparks movie with less sexual tension. It takes a lot of work to make Katherine Heigl look like the lion from Wizard of Oz, so congratulations whoever you are. I’m just gonna assume you’re gay. Hey, Jaime Pressly is pregnant. When asked how she looked, 99 out of the 100 penises surveyed said they would still have sex with her.

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Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician Kirk Hammett of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of "Metallica Through The Never" during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for BB Gun)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician James Hetfield of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of "Metallica Through The Never" during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for BB Gun)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician Robert Trujillo of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of "Metallica Through The Never" during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for BB Gun)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musicians Kirk Hammett (L) and James Hetfield of Metallica perform a secret concert in celebration of "Metallica Through The Never" during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for BB Gun)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician James Hetfield of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician Robert Trujillo of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician James Hetfield of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician Lars Ulrich of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musicians Lars Ulrich (L) and Kirk Hammett of Metallica perform a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician James Hetfield of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)
Metallica Live at Comic-Con 2013

Musician Kirk Hammett of Metallica performs a secret concert in celebration of 'Metallica Through The Never' during Comic-Con International 2013 at Spreckels Theatre on July 19, 2013 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Metallica Through The Never)