My Facebook is filled with how hot somebody named “Drake” is, so imagine my surprise when I logged into Splash and found out he is some kind of singer who was on Letterman last night. I’m hoping he sings like Ariel, because if not, Professor X might want to use him if his rear view mirror ever breaks. Why are his fucking eyes so far apart? Does he have gills? And what’s up with the Lego fade? Is his forehead that big? Does Dianee Fossey come on stage and give him a banana when he does sign language? Somebody really needs to explain this to me.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…
