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Like a legitimate rape, we’re shutting this whole thing down until Monday. Most of you are probably on a plane and/or drunk by now anyway, so have fun, be safe, and try not to kill a family member. If you do, cut off their hands and remove their teeth then burn them with the oil from the deep fryer. Then move to Mexico. They have Internet there, so we can pick all this back up on Monday.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…
