Justin Bieber Ran Over A Dude Outside A Church

Justin Bieber has once again returned to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, so he went to church in Beverly Hills last night. When he left, the sea did not part and he ran over a photographer.

Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping at a City Church event. He climbed into his monster pickup truck as photogs scrambled around the vehicle, and when he gunned it to pull away … hit the man. It’s pretty clear in the video … Justin’s front right side tire hits, or rolls over, the paparazzo.

But do not despair. Justin laid hands upon the man and he was saved (by medical professionals when they arrived).

Justin did not flee the scene and, in fact, stopped as soon as other photogs pointed out what had happened. Bieber stayed right by the man’s side for roughly 8 to 10 minutes until paramedics and police arrived.

It should be obvious to anyone that the power of Christ was flowing through Justin last night. He did not choose to become a vessel for the Lord, the Lord chose him to run over a non-believer in order to preach to him or whatever dumbass reason people believe their imaginary friend made something happen but really didn’t. If this offends you, I am deeply sorry. Please type “amen” in the comments to receive a full refund of your subscription fee.