If you haven’t been watching HBO’s sexy summer satire The White Lotus, you’re missing out. The hilarious and tension-filled series focuses on the outrageous, affluent guests of a Hawaiian resort with the tease of someone getting murdered before the finale.
From honeymooning newlyweds and unhappy families to grieving middle-aged women and horny hotel staff, these vacationers and hospitality workers may seemingly come from wildly different backgrounds, but they’re all searching for an intangible something.
Though we’re insanely jealous of the wealth on display in the show, we’ve also learned a thing or two about how to enjoy paradise like we, too, have millions in the bank. This is the Mandatory guide to vacationing like a rich, entitled douchebag.
Cover Photo: HBO
White Lotus
Bring a bestie.
Pack a book.
Avoid solo travelers...
...unless they like to have a good time.
Sleep with the staff.
Put the kids in the closet.
Show some skin.
Spill your secrets.
Know when to shut up.
Get on the manager's good side.
Indulge in spa services.
Do not tell your mother-in-law where you're staying.