Kim Kardashian and Kanye’s Paused Divorce Sounds Exactly Like Every Healthy Breakup We’ve Ever Had (Guess Which Phase Is Next)

The ongoing divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West is starting to take longer than the release of Donda. After stoking speculation of reconciliation during Kanye’s listening parties, things had finally cooled to a nice frigid journey to splitsville. Now rumor has it the two have put their divorce on pause.

The pair were spotted out to dinner at Nobu, a sushi spot so delicious anyone would get back together with their ex if it meant eating Nobu’s version of yellowtail with jalapeno. But you don’t need to use mouth orgasms as an excuse to hook up with your ex.

Hey. We get it. Breaking up has more phases than the moon. Breaking up is a dance. It’s two people velcroed together, trying to untie a years-long knot with a slippery butter knife while dangling upside down from the ceiling. It’s gory, awkward, and fascinating to watch. Not to mention, there’s an unspoken rule that sleeping with your ex is totally acceptable for one-quarter’s worth of the time you spent together.

In the case of Kanye and the foremost Kardashian, they still have a year left of guilt-free breakup sex before things get sad. An important phase in every breakup, somewhere between the angry hate dials and the long-term rebound.

So what’s the official relationship status of these two crazy kids? (We would check the internet but Facebook’s been more down than Marco Materazzi in a World Cup match.) While sources close to the couple claim these dinner dates are just a way to rebuild the foundation of trust for a healthier co-parenting arrangement, there’s no predicting how the chips will fall after a $500 bottle of sake and a plate of sea urchin.

So what comes after dinner? We’re pretty sure it’s breakfast.

Cover Photo: NurPhoto (Getty Images)

Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

TRENDING
No content yet. Check back later!

Load more...
Exit mobile version