DATE: 4/28/2014
LOCATION: St. Louis
RESULTS:
- WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos def. RybAxel (WWE Tag Team Championship Match)
- Sheamus def. Titus O’Neil
- Cesaro def. Jack Swagger
- Alberto Del Rio def. Cody Rhodes
- Alexander Rusev def. Xavier Woods via Disqualification
- 3MB def. Los Matadores
- Divas Champion Paige vs. Brie Bella Ended in a No Contest (Divas Championship Match)
- Bad News Barrett def. Rob Van Dam (Winner of Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender Tournament)
- Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton Ended in a No Contest
HIGHLIGHTS:
John Cena teased a heel turn as Bray Wyatt enlisted a children’s choir
I made it clear in last week’s recap that I’m not really behind the Wyatt’s/Cena feud, but the opening segment of this week’s RAW was admittedly something special. The show kicked off with Cena standing in the confines of a steel cage in the centre of the ring, addressing the WWE Universe’s decision to place him in a 3-on-1 handicap match with the Wyatt Family last week via a vote on the WWE app. With Cena’s confidence in the “Cenation” visibly shaken, a children’s choir appeared at the top of the ramp, singing a chorus of ‘The Whole World in His Hands’. This was then followed by Bray Wyatt leading the children down to ringside, giving them sheep masks to put over their faces whilst laughing maniacally as Cena went through an existential crisis. I loved the WWE’s straight-up acceptance that Cena is a wrestler “for the kids”, which is why the majority of older WWE fans tend to dislike him, and this is what the entirety of this segment was based upon – Cena losing his grip on those who look up to him as a hero.
Regardless of the direction this segment went in, Cena won’t turn heel. That’s a good thing, too, because with his Make-A-Wish Foundation commitments Cena should absolutely remain a face. Cena is the modern-day equivalent of Hogan, and while Hogan turning heel in WCW was shocking, there was always the sneaking suspicion that the guy might’ve been a bit of an asshole in reality. On the other hand, all accounts suggest that Cena is a great guy backstage, and so turning him heel wouldn’t make sense for his character, and it wouldn’t make sense to undo all his great work with the Make-A-Wish Foundation simply to appease the adult WWE fans who want him to turn to the Dark Side just for the sake of spicing things up.
While I still think that this feud will end predictably and therefore I’m not as emotionally invested in it as the majority seem to be, this was the highlight of the entire night, even if it was somewhat undermined later in the show during a backstage interview between Cena and Renee Young, in which Cena stated that he had somehow come to the conclusion that he was “wrong” about the WWE Universe and that he was going to stick his foot in Bray Wyatt’s ass. Oh, Cena.
RybAxel failed to become the new WWE Tag Team champions and that makes me sad
So I take it we’re not getting a WWE Tag Team title match at Extreme Rules, then?
The Usos successfully retained their titles against number one contenders RybAxel, which rubs me the wrong way as I was really hoping The Big Guy and The Other Guy would pick up the straps at the PPV. The WWE Tag Team division is getting a little stale again due to The Shield being occupied elsewhere and all the other major teams having either disbanded or working towards an inevitable break-up (I’m looking at you, Cody Rhodes and Goldust).
While The Usos are a relatively popular team and they’re certainly good in the ring, they’re definitely lacking that certain something. The match that they put on against RybAxel during this week’s RAW was a good one (though it only earned my Match of the Show accolade by virtue of the card being lacklustre in terms of actual wrestling) but I’d have liked to have seen them pass the belts over to their opponents in order to continue a feud. A feud is what the tag team division needs right now, and it seems like this one has been cut short.
Hugh Jackman promoted X-Men: Days of Future Past before Damien Sandow saved us from a terrible segment
The sycophancy that ensues whenever the WWE brings a celebrity to one of their shows always makes me squirm in my seat, with Dolph Ziggler’s incessant patting of Hugh Jackman’s back being no different. Fortunately, Damien Sandow was at hand to save us from what would have been a dire segment by coming to the ring donned in an ill-fitting Magneto costume.
WWE’s silly humour flies completely over my head most of the time, but Sandow delivered his lines with such sincerity and commitment that I was distracted from the forced camaraderie between Wolverine and Ziggles (now THERE’S a buddy cop movie). #PushSandow.
NEXT PAGE: Ric Flair makes a (weird) return, Kane tries to kidnap Brie Bella >>
