Everyone, you might want to sit down for this. Also put away your phones, turn off the TV and cancel your dinner plans. Because it turns out that… holy crap, can you even BELIEVE it… Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will be rated PG-13.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Well, obviously it was going to be rated PG-13. I mean, PG-13 is the default rating for most blockbusters nowadays, and practically every superhero movie winds up with a PG-13 unless it’s trying to be super-edgy and didn’t cost a lot to produce. This barely qualifies as news. Sure, technically it’s ‘new’ information but not all new information warrants a headline and deserves to trend on social media. Making a big deal out of Batman v Superman being PG-13 would be like making a big deal out of Pixar’s next movie being animated. Who the hell cares?”
Related: What If ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Sucks?
Well, a lot of people care, and they shouldn’t. The next time you see a headline about something as banal as a mainstream blockbuster movie having a PG-13 rating, don’t click on it. Don’t tweet it. Don’t share it on social media. This isn’t even as interesting as a casting rumor. It’s just another line on the studio checklist. This is like making a big deal out of how long Star Wars: The Force Awakens is going to be and… oh god, we’re already doing that too.
Let’s be fair here: if Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice were rated R, or rated G, then that WOULD be news. That would change our perception of what this highly anticipated film was going to offer us. But the fact that Batman v Superman is rated PG-13 for “intense sequences of violence and action throughout, and some sensuality” shouldn’t affect your expectations at all. (Unless of course it turns out that “some sexuality” is code for “they put nipples back on Batman’s costume.”)
The news, essentially, is that there is nothing truly newsworthy to report. The news, in this case, is that the status remains quo. The takeaway is, we should find better ways to distract ourselves. We are doing ourselves no favors as fans or as websites by treating every little story like it’s a big one.
In related news, I just got a hot tip that the new Ghostbusters has ghosts in it. I’m awaiting confirmation from two reliable sources, so take that with a grain of salt, but it’s going to be a banner headline. Trust me.
Photo Credit: Warner Bros.
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
