Photo: ananaline (Getty)
This is why I only put my manhood inside my lover’s mouth instead of large fruits. You know, because when I leave the room, so does my penis.
According to the New York Post, a 46-year-old German man is facing up to five years in prison for negligent homicide after he left his bedroom and forgot that a cucumber he had used as a sex toy with his lover (not pictured) was still stuck in her mouth.
Photo: Reddit
Sadly, 46-year-old Rica Varna died after Oliver Dietmann beelined it to the kitchen to tend to a piece of meat he had on the stove for his dog.
“Suddenly I saw there was smoke coming from the kitchen,” Dietmann testified. “I forgot that I had put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog. I ran to the kitchen, fed my dog and then went on to the balcony to smoke a cigarette.”
By the time he remembered that he had shoved a cucumber in Varna’s mouth it was too late. Dietmann said that he tried to remove the fruit from his unconscious lover’s piehole, but it was “too mushy.”
And it sounds like that’s pretty much the best way to sum up his memory as well.
