Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They’ll think you’re hilarious, but inside you’ll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Somebody gotta explain to me how gymnasts do that 1 super jump when they jump 9ft in the air after 5 straight jumps of going 6ft in the air
— Larry Beyince (@DragonflyJonez) August 8, 2016
HBO, please start doing this for The Night Of. pic.twitter.com/joFL8UOoy2
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) August 8, 2016
Well *almost* no boundaries. pic.twitter.com/q7tXcSfyG1
— Matt Crowley (@MatthewPCrowley) August 3, 2016
when u don’t really feel like having sex but it’s his birthday pic.twitter.com/s4Svj2gRdC
— errkuh (@hairicaaa) August 12, 2016
Saying “I’m not politically correct” is a very politically correct way of saying “I’m racist.”
— Payman Benz (@PaymanBenz) August 4, 2016
You know what….. pic.twitter.com/GwfeM5aQQt
— Lazer Gun Carrier (@branfire) August 8, 2016
Numbers do not lie. pic.twitter.com/po4c7WeNs0
— CAFE (@cafedotcom) August 15, 2016
the closest thing to magic irl is if u yell “SNORLAX” in a busy street its like a spell that causes evryone to stop and look at their phones
— jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 8, 2016
Usain Bolt being named Usain Bolt is like Michael Phelps being named Charley O’Swimsfast
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) August 15, 2016
“Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I’m home bound”
** pic.twitter.com/c5ROZPIwcQ— Clint Smith (@ClintSmithIII) August 15, 2016
The best part of Kevin Hart’s wedding pic is him standing 10 feet in the foreground to be as tall as his wife. pic.twitter.com/EPAp3dtmms
— Travon Free (@Travon) August 14, 2016
Just said out loud “if this flight gets delayed again I’m going to flip out.” But honestly — I probably won’t. Will probably hold it in
— Matt Ingebretson (@mattingebretson) July 31, 2016
Kinda looks like it says ‘WHEAT THINS’ for a split second in the “Stranger Things” opening credits pic.twitter.com/B9rEuVfwNN
— Keelayjams (@keelayjams) August 14, 2016
This is all fun and games until I come home gone off the henny and drown. pic.twitter.com/5J1lBE9Onk
— X (@XLNB) August 13, 2016
When they’re too young to understand capital letters but old enough to be WOKE AF pic.twitter.com/LejZj2mp3m
— Jelena Woehr (@jelenawoehr) August 12, 2016
please kill me pic.twitter.com/r0wmdUloyG
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) August 15, 2016
Who else panics when they’re stopped next to a school bus because teens could possibly be in there roasting you
— Bone Apple Tea (@shakiraaevans) May 10, 2016
This is terrible. Why not just bring a stuffed animal?? pic.twitter.com/9WIX7wYahB
— nah (@JayUhOh) April 14, 2014
I don’t usually get political on social media but Gildan has no right making t-shirts.
— Sal Vulcano (@SalVulcano) August 8, 2016
NO GOOGLE I MEANT THIS pic.twitter.com/LFaek8aPx5
— hunny… (@Spungke) August 12, 2016
Want more? Check out last week’s hilarious tweets.
