Photo: Johan Humblet (Getty)
We’re assuming how much he has to pay in restitution depends on what he ate.
Whether your plane has to make an emergency landing because a sheep on flight is farting or whether a teacher is telling a student to lick her where she farts, the point is that farting leads to problems. Big problems. And no one knows that more than the dude in this bizarre story.
According to NBC 26, a 22-year-old man in England faces four counts of child cruelty after he allegedly walked up to a kid who was lying down and dropped ass in his face.
A prosecutor called Gary McKenzie’s actions “cruel and bullying,” but McKenzie insisted he didn’t fart in the kid’s face on purpose. He added that he was just “play-fighting” and accidentally “pumped” while the kid was behind him.
Of course, that’s not the way the kid saw it, and he even took the stand to let everybody know just how bad McKenzie’s ass biscuits scarred him.
“I know he pumped because I heard the noise,” the boy said. “He was right next to me and bending down. He was wearing shorts, his shorts were right next to my face.” The kid also said he asked McKenzie why he would tear ass in a child’s face, and McKenzie replied with “[I] wanted to be nasty.”
So there you have, kids. An adult allegedly blasts ass in a kid’s face, and that somehow makes its way to trial. It appears as though parts of England are just as fucked up as Florida.
