Photo: askhamdesign (Getty)
There’s getting arrested and then there’s whatever the hell you would call this.
According to The Smoking Gun, a 51-year-old man was arrested Monday afternoon after he was found wearing “pink lingerie under his lowered sweatpants” and “passed out with his penis in his hands inside a stolen Buick sedan that was stopped in the middle of a busy Pittsburgh intersection.”
Police said they found Daniel Marchese after witnesses reported he was “masturbating and passed out behind the wheel of his vehicle.” Once they arrived on the scene, officers said it only got worse from there. After asking him to produce some kind of ID, Marchese allegedly responded with, “How about f**k you, your mother’s a n***ger loving whore.”
Marchese allegedly continued hurling that exact obscenity at officers, even as they tried to pick him up and walk him back to the squad car. It was at that point that Marchese decided to kick backwards at officers, hitting one of them in the abdomen several times. There was also an attempt to kick one of the officers in his “crotch,” but that effort proved to be futile.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Marchese was unable to post bail, perhaps because he dropped all he had on his sexy women’s lingerie, and he remains behind bars facing a shit ton of charges ranging from aggravated assault and indecent exposure to drunk driving and making terroristic threats.
