Header Photo: Bethany Clarke (Getty) / @mamaD7741 (Twitter)
Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.
Follow @Mandatory on Twitter. Don’t forget about last week’s funniest tweets either, in case you missed them.
Funny Tweets 4-6-18
[breaking up]
Me: just bc when you asked if I was tired I said “napsolutely”?!
Her: no it’s because you’re not a good listener
Me: (asleeping)
— Elvish Presley® (@_ElvishPresley_) April 5, 2018
#AprilFoolsDay
Told my son I got him an Apple phone for Easter pic.twitter.com/6oMO9mPWC3— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 1, 2018
In 5th grade the boy I had a crush on called me on the phone and told me he loved me…then screamed April Foooools and hung up.
It took me 34 years but jokes on you, Chris. I don’t even like you that much anymore.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 31, 2018
James? I havent heard that name in years pic.twitter.com/WIe13ai7N0
— KAONASHI (@CAMSQUIAT) April 2, 2018
I wrote a Facebook status asking what’s happening in Young Sheldon and then unfriended everyone who replied.
— Rupert ‘Hit n Miss’ Pupkin (@citizenkawala) March 7, 2018
Really glad I started meal prepping, really changed my life. pic.twitter.com/82D1fR69wv
— ash (@anng1111) March 28, 2018
pics i am currently airdropping to strangers pic.twitter.com/AsQDH3xM5L
— darcie wilder (@333333333433333) March 29, 2018
and for my next trick i’ll break my own heart by exaggerating my place in other people’s lives
— adrian (@ilovenosejobs) March 20, 2018
Me scrolling on twitter for hours VS 5min of reading my textbook pic.twitter.com/AuJwp09bV0
— Jr (@alqamr_) March 29, 2018
Age 6: “I want to be a doctor.”
Age 16: “I want to be a nurse.”
Age 19: “I’ll try accounting.”
Age 24: ”Hey guys, welcome back to my channel…”— kayyci (@kayyci) March 25, 2018
— Radrosaur (@CopernicusG) April 2, 2018
OMG I LAUGEHD SO HARD pic.twitter.com/UXquVS9H9n
— s h e r r y (@xxuelie) March 29, 2018
Yall might not remember but Winnie the Pooh kept a strap at all times pic.twitter.com/6BthxdWoKA
— Wilson (@Badoodled) April 4, 2018
Does it bother anyone else that your laundry is never officially done? Like you can complete most of it but then there’s the clothes you have on. Or is that just my ocd
— Mama D (@mamaD7741) March 27, 2018
When you gotta turn the radio down to see the house address pic.twitter.com/y5zkAyIUqT
— Pharris Cooler (@anomlous06) March 31, 2018
You could tell me any group of white men was Imagine Dragons and id believe you
— Cotton McKnight (@FootePajamas) April 1, 2018
im crying im so happy for them pic.twitter.com/WNxmnQxswY
— powerpuff boy lucas (@lostboy) April 2, 2018
Only making realistic memes from now on pic.twitter.com/eTP9IKUVVF
— Professional Arborist (@SortaBad) April 2, 2018
I watched porn for like 2 hrs yesterday, I ain’t even touch my dick. I was just casually watching that shit like a episode of Hell’s Kitchen. This must be what Kanye feel like
— Father (@father) April 5, 2018
— mr. joshua (@pants) January 24, 2018
