Here’s a personal confession: I started making fun of Ishtar before I had ever seen Ishtar. In my early days as a film critic, in eighth grade, I began writing a movie review column for my school paper. Some of you have been reading me since then and I appreciate it. Back then, I would refer to Ishtar as a humorous example of the worst movie ever. I was believing the hype and it may have been my first lesson in elevating my craft beyond the bandwagon of schadenfreude.
I would eventually see Ishtar on VHS and decide that, while not good, I had seen, and would continue to see, far worse movies. I applaud Sony Pictures Home Entertainment for going to the trouble of releasing Ishtar on Blu-ray. All movies should exist, to be studied at the very least, to preserve the cultural zeitgeist in which it lived. Now, as a fully formed critic revisiting this notorious flop after 26 years, I can alleviate my conscience a little. Prejudging Ishtar was no great sleight. It really isn’t very good.
Today I root for an underdog. I want to believe that artists are trying to entertain us and there can be found some joy, maybe even some art looking for a champion. When Ishtar opened with Lyle Rogers (Warren Beatty) and Chuck Clarke (Dustin Hoffman) babbling song lyrics, I was impressed that it actually came together in a catchy tune. Of course, they still perform it badly, because that’s comedy. They’re failed musicians. Lyle is awkward and I respect Beatty for playing against the ladies man type. He can’t even pronounce the word “schmuck” and that becomes a schtick with Chuck, though we don’t know if he can pronounce “schtick.”
Then they flash back to how Chuck and Lyle met, which is a foreshadowing of the overly confusing storytelling of Ishtar. The backstory isn’t really necessary, but it has a gag where Lyle, wrapped up in spitballing lyrics, drives an ice cream truck while ignoring all the kids who want him to stop. That’s comedy gold right there. The flashback actually catches up to the first scene in the movie! So the only gig Rogers and Clarke can book is in Marrakesh. They take it and get caught up in a CIA plot with the Emir of Ishtar. That seems like the perfect setup for fish out of water shenanigans, but it becomes so convoluted I found it harder to follow than Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and far less rewarding to try.
Shirra (Isabelle Adjani) plays Lyle and Chuck individually as pieces of her rebel plan. For a while Chuck doesn’t even know that Lyle has met Shirra, and vice versa. Chuck meets CIA agent Jim Harrison who helps him resolve a passport issue but really is out to get them the whole time. It gets to a point where Lyle even reminds Chuck of information Shirra told him before, but it doesn’t really help the audience follow along.
The Blu-ray looks good. They didn’t scrimp on the Blu-ray just because it’s an unpopular, albeit notorious, movie. It still has a film look, with soft focus in the corners of the frame. The Moroccan and desert locations look really vibrant and full of detail. They also made this review really easy by not including any extras I have to look at on the Blu-ray.
Ishtar isn’t even so bad it’s fun. I can enjoy Howard the Duck because the wrong decisions they made are really entertaining. Ishtar is just comedy that doesn’t work, and a plot that’s so not worth trying to figure out to get to the jokes. The Paul Williams songs are good though.
Fred Topel is a staff writer at CraveOnline and the man behind Shelf Space Weekly. Follow him on Twitter at @FredTopel.
