I pretty much went straight from TIFF right into Fantastic Fest. In the first few days I had a few movies I wanted to break out into full reviews, like the big premiere of Machete Kills and my gratifying discovery of Coherence, plus the curiosity of Nightbreed: The Cabal Cut. I do want to tell you about all the other movies I’m seeing here, so here are the highlights, and one lowlight.
Escape From Tomorrow
Well, I knew to manage my expectations for Escape From Tomorrow. When I heard there was a movie shot secretly at Disney World, I thought that sounded amazing and when I couldn’t get in to see it at Sundance, it became legend. Then it occurred to me, there’s no way a movie secretly shot at Disney World could be as amazing as the logline of it is. Still, I’m glad I finally got to see it at Fantastic Fest.
It is a minor miracle of production, although when you consider the use of green screen and interior locations, I think they could have completed the film at any point had they been kicked out of the park. I’m more surprised that they chose such a weird story to shoot in such a precarious fashion. A dad (Roy Abramsohn) starts having hallucinations, obsesses about French girls and has an inappropriate encounter with another mom while taking his family to Disney World/Epcot.
I mean, that’s a story. It’s something you could shoot at Disney World if you’re so inclined. I was hoping it would be more of an action movie where they found out something was wrong and had to stop a disaster when none of the other tourists believed them, but I guess this is good too.
A Field in England
This could be just as much my own issues as anything with the film, but I had no idea what was going on in Ben Wheatley’s latest movie. It’s actors I don’t recognize who all look the same, speaking in thick accents I can’t really understand about British history that I don’t know. It’s also in black and white with lots of cuts to black and some parts where a character just screams, so that’s not pleasant. There is a funny twist on the “tell my wife I love her” scene from every war movie, so that’s fun.
Grand Piano
I was worried that my logline of “Phone Booth at a classical concert” was a spoiler, but now I’m just worried that it’s unoriginal. I was keeping it to myself but I heard some others saying it independently of me, because that’s what Grand Piano is. Disgraced pianist Tom Selznick (Elijah Wood) performs a comeback concert when a sniper (John Cusack) contacts him through his sheet music. We see the red dot and the sniper demands Tom play the piece perfectly or he’ll shoot his wife (Kerry Bishe).
Great premise, but how are they going to make this last 90 minutes? And how will the sniper continue communicating the plan while Tom’s on stage? Well, texting helps but screenwriter Damien Chazelle and director Eugenio Mira keep the threat building and make the most out of intermissions and the backstage space. It’s also the most suspenseful piano ever. Shots of Wood playing piano crane from his hands to his head, and Miro keeps Wood in frame while background action is going on.
When the sniper’s full plan is revealed, it is rather convoluted. A part of me would rather he were just a psycho with an obsessive love of classical music, but I also kind of admire the balls of this ultimate plan. It’s kind of awesome. There are also questions like “No one else sees the red dot?” I guess you wouldn’t be able to see in the cheap seats. I also like how the sniper’s threat pushes Tom to be a piano badass. He makes that concerto his bitch! Also, he said “pianist.” Hehehehe.
Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons
Stephen Chow does it again! Xuan Zang (Wen Zhang) and Miss Duan (Shu Qi) are demon hunters, and the demons are giant animals like a mohawked fish or a pig slobbering all over Xuan. It’s still cartoony, the way Chow likes to do it, with man-shaped holes appearing as people fall through the floor, and punches leaving dents with squeaky sound effects.
The demon fights have legitimate dramatic heft. Check out the opening extended sequence on a pier. The timing is suspenseful and the action builds with the pier seesawing as it breaks apart. Qi totally commits. She’s badass and lovely. Duan is in love with Xuan so she fails the Belcher test, but it creates a delightful rom-com in the middle of this crazy special effects fantasy movie.
The story is irreverently mythical, with characters like The Almighty Foot, and a hilarious gag about a broken blood spray. Yet Chow finds the emotion in the craziness. Xuan is really haunted by the girl he couldn’t save. It’s sort of the Cliffhanger prologue but it’s genuine. It’s also a musical and I totally want the soundtrack.
LFO
We all imagine that we could hypnotize anyone to like us and make them do what we want, right? It’s not just me and the makers of this film, is it? Well, in this Swedish thriller, Robert (Patrick Karlson) uses radio waves to hypnotize his neighbors Linn and Simon (Johanna Tschig and Per Lofberg) for sexual favors, and just to mess with them.
What’s cool about LFO is the only conflict is Robert’s own boredom. Any time someone might be onto him, he just hypnotizes them again, but once Robert has everything he wants, he’s numb to the excitement of it so has to escalate it. He also has to manage Robert and SImon, because they take his suggestions literally so he always has to tweak his commands.
On the radio, you hear about other crimes Robert must have commanded his subjects to commit for him. The film builds a whole world of Robert’s master plan while remaining contained in his house, and gets to a meta conclusion that’s very involving for the audience.
Miss Zombie
If you want to see a zombie scrub the floor for 90 minutes, that’s what Miss Zombie is. It’s a very slow burn, but it does get to an interesting point about what parenthood is. A family receives a zombie in the mail and teaches her to be their maid. However, she becomes a surrogate mother to their son, and they also have to come to terms with their responsibility for the creature they are using. There are also rapists who rape the zombie. I mean, it is a Japanese horror film. Raping a zombie is still necrophilia, right? God damn, what’s wrong with you people?
Patrick
Patrick is the telekinetic coma patient movie of the year. I’m not saying it’s the best telekinetic coma patient movie ever, but it’s definitely top five. I actually haven’t seen the original Patrick but this remake is a good old scarefest with a solid Scream Queen in Sharni Vinson, playing a more traditional final girl than she did in You’re Next.
Kathy Jacquard (Vinson) gets a job in a coma ward, where Dr. Roget (Charles Dance) is conducting experiments on the patients. She thinks Patrick (Jackson Gallagher) is communicating with her and – not a spoiler because this is a remake – he becomes telekinetic and possessive over her.
The pace escalates with jump scares and funny cuts, like from a burn victim to a piece of toast, until Patrick runs wild. Dance is hilarious asking for notification on bowel movements and telling Kathy to fuck off. I am curious how Patrick communicated in the original because they couldn’t have had cell phones, and they may not have even had computers. If they did, it would have been clunky green text on a black screen.
Fred Topel is a staff writer at CraveOnline and the man behind Shelf Space Weekly. Follow him on Twitter at @FredTopel.
