All cheerleaders die, but as far as the movies are concerned, most cheerleaders don’t really get to live in the first place. Unless they’re fighting vampires or bringing it on (the first time, anyway), teenagers who partake in extracurricular activities involving pom-poms and rhythmic pride tend to get written off as punchlines, villains and/or superficial sex objects in most films. And yet despite the aggressive title, All Cheerleaders Die is one of the more delightful exceptions: an inventive horror comedy with smartly written cheerleader heroes and an imaginative story that’s been custom-made to show them off.
The first day of school is fast approaching and the local cheerleader squad needs a new member after a tragic basket toss accident broke the neck of a beloved all-star last year. To everyone’s surprise, Maddy (Caitlin Stasey) tries out even though she hates everyone on the team. It turns out she was friends with the dearly departed and wants to honor her memory… at least, that’s what she tells everybody. In secret she plans to destroy their senior year by seducing her teammate Tracy (Brooke Butler), who didn’t even wait until the body was cold before going out with the deceased’s boyfriend, Terry (Tom Williamson).
Related: Watch an Exclusive Clip from All Cheerleaders Die
Presumably there were going to be more layers to Maddy’s plan, but Terry’s rage takes a violent turn that results in the deaths of Maddy, Tracy, the religious prude Martha (Reanin Johannink) and Martha’s socially awkward but horny little sister Hannah (Amanda Grace Cooper). Fortunately Maddy’s ex-girlfriend Leena (Sianoa Smit-McPhee) is a practicing witch who brings them all back to life using magical glowing stones that turn them into flesh-eating zombies, but with their personalities entirely intact. Well, kind of… Martha and Hannah accidentally switched bodies in the process. You know, like you do.
That would be a lot of set-up for a standard revenge flick, but All Cheerleaders Die is anything but standard. By the time our heroes have shuffled off this mortal coil and shuffled back into their skimpy uniforms, they have a lot more to do than simply mete out feminist justice. There’s fantasies to be explored, secrets to be revealed and betrayals within and without the group to ruin their vengeance. There may be plenty of violence but the real fun of All Cheerleaders Die is the way co-directors Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson play with the genre and infuse it genuine teen angst, elaborate teen drama, orgasmic references to E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial and shades of the superhero genre to boot.
It’s pretty typical of McKee and Sivertson to go further than their contemporaries with rich female protagonists and unexpectedly creative plotting. McKee made a name for himself with the modern classic horror character studies May and The Woman, and Sivertson gave Lindsey Lohan her most interesting role after Mean Girls with the underrated I Know Who Killed Me (a film that’s long overdue for a critical reevaluation). But whereas those earlier efforts had a certifiable vicious streak, All Cheerleaders Die is a playful horror comedy that revels in the possibilities of its fantastical storyline, as opposed to the inherent cruelty of man. Although admittedly All Cheerleaders Die has some of that too.
There’s a trifling quality to All Cheerleaders Die, a general sense that none of this may be very significant but that everyone certainly had a good time making it. That doesn’t always translate to the audience but in this case the joviality is infectious. All Cheerleaders Die is a highly enjoyable horror comedy with its heart in the right place, and its flesh in the right stomachs.
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast and The Blue Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
