“It’s not real scientific,” one of the characters from Coraline says. “But I heard that ordinary names […] can lead people to have ordinary expectations of a person.” Quite right, Neil Gaiman. That’s why we have lower hopes for this new Fantastic Four reboot now that Toby Kebbell has revealed he’s playing a villain named “Victor Domashev,” and not “Victor Von Doom.”
While everyone else is worried that Doctor Doom will be a blogger in Josh Trank’s upcoming movie, THIS is the part we can’t get over at CraveOnline. (But yes, that blogger thing raises some red flags too. We’ll admit it.)
Doctor Doom is one of the great comic book superheroes, full of ego and power and mad intelligence. His reputation to Fantastic Four fans is big enough to warrant a big-sounding name. So why change it?
Related: Doctor Doom is a Blogger in the ‘Fantastic Four’ Reboot
We’ll have to wait for the filmmakers to answer that question, but the reaction we’ve been hearing most often online is that “Victor Von Doom” is simply a silly-sounding name for a character in a modern movie. And yes, we’ll grant you that Doctor Doom was created back in 1962, when superhero comic books weren’t exactly renowned for their subtlety, but he’s a beloved character whose popularity has lingered for over 50 years.
Victor Von Doom’s reputation precedes him. “Darth Vader” is a silly name too, if you think about it, but no one thinks about that anymore (if they ever did). You don’t need to rename him “Darren Vadrosky” just because it sounds a little more plausible.
So surely audiences would be willing to accept the name, wouldn’t they? Like they did twice before, without comment, in the two Tim Story movies? (Granted they had other things to complain about, but still.) We don’t even necessarily mind changing Doctor Doom’s original profession in the movie, since that’s a big change that might have something to do with Josh Trank’s interpretation of the world the heroes inhabit (for better or worse), but making a change as simple as a character’s name strikes us as unnecessary at best, and selling the character short, at worst.
Hollywood history has shown that big characters, larger than life figures who live up to the majesty of their names, can get away with this. So if you’re one of those people who think that audiences would balk at a character named “Victor Von Doom” in The Fantastic Four, we would like to present a whopping 27 characters with names either just as outlandish as his, or names so vastly ludicrous that “Doctor Doom” sounds downright normal in comparison.
These Movie Characters Also Have Ludicrous Names:
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast and The Blue Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
27 Ludicrous Movie Character Names
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Buckaroo Banzai
From: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)
Adventurer. Physicist. Test pilot. Neurosurgeon. Rock star. An extraordinary man deserves an extraordinary name.
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Sirius Black
From: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
The world of Harry Potter is full of colorful names (Luna Lovegood, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, the list goes on), but Sirius Black is practically a joke. The Prisoner of Azakaban tries to make you think Sirius Black is a bad guy right until the end, and the obviously evil name is just another part of the misdirect.
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Hale Caesar
From: The Expendables (2010)
Even in a team consisting of guys like Lee Christmas, Gunner Jensen and Toll Road, "Hale Caesar" is pretty broad.
Okay, maybe "Toll Road" is equally silly.
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Xander Cage
From: xXx (2002)
Why settle for "Alexander" when you can have practically the same name, but with an "X" at the beginning. And "Cage?" Nobody cages Xander Cage. Nobody.
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Heavyweight President of the World: President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
From: Idiocracy (2006)
Picture that name on the next presidential ballot. Now tell us you wouldn't vote for him.
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Jericho Cane
From: End of Days (1999)
If you're going to fight Satan, you'd better have a biblical name. Like, a REALLY BIBLICAL NAME. Sure, "Cain" is spelled differently but it's not anyone's going to get confused.
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Junito Rocket Racer Rebel Cortez
From: Spy Kids (2001)
If you want your kid to be a spy before they hit puberty, that's pretty much the name to give them.
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Apollo Creed
From: Rocky (1976)
Lots of professional boxers have cool-sounding nicknames. "Apollo Creed" is his real name. Either he was going to be a champion or he was going into the space program.
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Raven Darkholme
From: X-Men (2000)
The same studio that helped veto "Victor Von Doom" thought "Raven Darkholme" was just fine.
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Napoleon Dynamite
From: Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Another inversion, almost. Napoleon Dynamite's treats his life as though it's anything but ordinary, even though the audience can tell it obviously is. And then he does that one thing that makes it badass.
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Dr. Frank-N-Furter
From: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Yes, yes, we get it. Very funny. But is "Frank-N-Furter" just his last name, or is "N" his middle initial? And if so, what does the "N" stand for?
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Col. Nick Fury
From: Iron Man (2008)
There are probably people out there whose last name is "Fury." We don't know any personally because they all run super secret spy organizations of course.
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Auric Goldfinger
From: Goldfinger (1964)
Gold is labeled "Au" in the Periodic Table of Elements. So "Auric" would be an almost subtly clever name for a guy obsessed with stealing gold if his last name wasn't also "Goldfinger." Lots of James Bond villains have broad-sounding names (Hugo Drax, Dr. No, Elektra King, etc.), but Auric Goldfinger takes the cake. And also the gold.
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Mike Hammer
From: I, the Jury (1953)
Although Mickey Spillane's hardboiled detective Mike Hammer is probably most famous as the protagonist in Kiss Me Deadly (pictured), he first appeared in the 1953 noir I, the Jury. Even better, he was played by the equally awesomely named Biff Elliot.
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Sam Hell
From: Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)
The title makes it sound like Frogtown is in for a whole heap of trouble, and then you realize the hero's name is just "Sam Hell." So theoretically anything could happen. Even something nice! But the last fertile man on Earth has a bomb strapped to his genitals that'll explode unless he stops a mutant frog pimp, which leads to plenty of carnage. So really, the title works either way.
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Edward Nygma
From: Batman Forever (1995)
It takes Batman most of the movie to figure out that the guy named E. Nygma is also The Riddler. "The World's Greatest Detective," folks.
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Speed Racer
From: Speed Racer (2008)
Yes, he was born into a racing family, but no, they didn't have to name him after an amphetamine. No wonder he goes so fast!
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Cypher Raige
From: After Earth (2013)
Mankind's greatest hero needs a great-sounding name, because he spends most of the movie sitting on his butt watching his son do all the work.
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Jett Rink
From: Giant (1956)
James Dean's third great performance (and also his last) was as Jett Rink, a farmhand who strikes oil but strikes out with the woman he loves. Also, his name sounds like a background character from Star Wars.
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Honey Ryder
From: Dr. No (1962)
It's hard to pick just one ludicrous name out of all the Bond girls we have to choose from, so we just stuck with the first. But seriously, Pussy Galore, Plenty O'Toole, Chew Mee, Holly Goodhead, Bibi Dahl, May Day, Jenny Flex, Xenia Onatopp, Wai Lin, Dr. Christmas Jones, Dr. Molly Warmflash and Strawberry Fields... well, they all sound like porn stars, don't they?
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John Shaft
From: Shaft (1971)
If the name "John Shaft" didn't make him seem virile enough, he also has a sweet mustache.
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Han Solo
From: Star Wars (1977)
He's a loner. Get it?
GET IT?!
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Jesus Shuttlesworth
From: He Got Game (1998)
What do you name the potential savior of a college basketball team whose value on the court, doing things like shuttles, drives the plot of your movie? "Jesus Shuttlesworth," of course.
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John Spartan
From: Demolition Man (1993)
No stranger to masculine names, we think Sylvester Stallone peaked with "John Spartan," a man who doesn't need all the conveniences of a futuristic society but goes to war for them anyway. Also it just sounds cool.
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Mason Storm
From: Hard to Kill (1990)
A storm is brewing... and Steven Seagal is going to build it like a mason.
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Stoick the Vast
From: How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
"Stoick" is the sort of name you expect your child to grow into. Clearly he was born into a society in which parental expectation is instilled with early labels. So why would a guy named "Stoick" name his child "Hiccup?" The mind boggles.
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Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg
From: The Fifth Element (1997)
One of the most interesting badass movie names actually sounds rather lovely until you get to the "Zorg" part. And that's Zorg for you. He lures you in with pretty words and then BLAM! He zorgs you.
