It takes a village to raise a child, so I’m going to do my civic duty and be very, very kind to Quvenzhané Wallis, the 11-year-old star of Annie whom a-holes might accuse of simply ruining an otherwise lively remake of the iconic Broadway musical. Let’s just say that she was miscast as a person who can sing and dance, or play this rather artificial part believably.
I am only passing familiar with Annie, having heard the soundtrack a few times but never having actually watched the original show. So the intricacies of the adaptation and the differences between the Depression Era musical and this contemporary reimagining – besides the obvious (cell phones, Twilight jokes and C+C Music Factory references) – are probably lost on me. But what will be clear to anyone with eyes is that this sickly sweet story of an orphan adopted by a billionaire, warming his heart and singing her soul out must have demanded a bit more gee-whiz personality and stagecraft than the young Wallis has in her repertoire yet.
As such, director Will Gluck (Easy A) seems to have jazz-handed every other part of the movie. This new Annie is a candy-colored kaleidoscope of positivity, carefully designed to strip away the defenses of any and all cynics who will be determined to sit on their hands from frame one. The spicy editing and rictus smiles on the faces of the whole cast wear you down eventually, and Jamie Foxx – as the businessman who does too much business, Will Stacks – is particularly endearing. Any schmuck can phone in an indifference-to-concern story arc and get away with it, but Foxx turns this familiar emotional turn into something particularly likable and genuine.
The rags-to-riches yarn itself is desperately simple: Annie (Wallis) is a sassy orphan looking for her real parents, Will Stacks is a business-obsessed cell phone magnate running for Mayor of New York City. He saves her from getting run over by a truck, the incident is caught on video, and his political advisor Guy (Bobby Cannavale) rolls with the newly trending media story by convincing Stacks to adopt her. They become a family, they revel in their capitalistic excess, and they test their bonds when Annie’s former foster mother Ms. Hannigan (Cameron Diaz) teams up with Guy to conspire against them for their own selfish purposes.
It’s a blender full of mixed blessings. Jamie Foxx can sing. Quvenzhané Wallis, Cameron Diaz and Bobby Cannavale can’t. But, presumably to keep the soundtrack consistent, everyone sounds equally auto-tuned, transforming an otherwise lively song score into a choir full of bland, cheerful robots. Gluck’s stagings range from inventive to completely lackluster, with the standout moments typically reserved for the young supporting cast members who each seem better suited to the lead role than the film’s actual lead. They’re demonstrating attitude, enthusiasm and clever choreography that Wallis either can’t match or didn’t get enough rehearsal time to actually do on her own.
And although some of the updated ideas are kind of nifty – there’s a climactic car chase involving social media that plays like a pre-teen riff on The Dark Knight – the film’s retro enthusiasm for good old-fashioned show tunes is the most infectious part about Annie. It’s an old-fashioned story that demands old-fashioned pluck. That’s why it’s such a disappointment that the studio latched onto a young star who wasn’t up to the task – again, at least yet – of belting “Tomorrow” like a superstar or matching wits with Jamie Foxx without looking like she’s trying to remember her next line.
I wish Quvenzhané Wallis all the best in life. She’s too young to take to task for not being up to a major production like Annie, but I’ll happily complain about the filmmakers who swept up the standout star of the subdued, naturalistic Beasts of the Southern Wild and tried to shove her into a studio product that was clearly tailored to someone else’s strengths. What could have been an overly polished but otherwise merry re-staging of a beloved Broadway show is missing its lodestone, and finally crumbles without a young star who possesses the showmanship necessary to hold it all together.
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast and The Blue Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
