The rumor now is that Christina Aguilera is having twins. This is probably news to Christina because she still hasn’t even confirmed she’s pregnant. Maybe she’s pretending she’s not pregnant. That sounds cool. I just pretended my last girlfriend wasn’t pregnant. It was fun. I even played a little game where I jumped in my car and took off really fast then moved to another state and changed my number. Good times, man. Good times.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…
