Cindy Crawford Didn’t Think This Through

I have no idea what Cindy Crawford is doing in the April issue of Allure, but it’s pretty obvious the photographer was wearing a lavender silk scarf, a monocle, and smoking his Benson & Hedges through a gold cigarette holder while he tickled the teenage Latin boy in the cutoff jeans shorts and mesh tube top. I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their job, but if you want me to jerk off, you’d gonna have to think of something better than a piece of bread and a robot who brushes teeth. Like tan lines, for example.