Park Chan-wook should have won for Thirst, but whatever. Kathryn Bigelow won the award for Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion Pictures for Hurt Locker and blah blah blah holy shit. Christina Hendricks showed up with her insane rack hanging out to apparently direct everyone’s hands down their pants. And no, she didn’t adopt a foreign exchange student, that’s her husband. Again, her husband. Seriously, there’s no way in hell he gets to stick his penis between those every night unless something has gone horribly wrong. I don’t know, I just can’t shake the feeling her parents are in the basement hooked up to a car battery or dangling over a pit of sharks.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…
