Christina Aguilera began her career as a child, won five Grammys, and performed “The Star Spangled Banner” a few times, so when she fucked up the lyrics at Super Bowl XLV, it was a little jarring. Also jarring? How different she looks in black from, say, Sofia Vergara. When part of your marketability lies in sex appeal, you should probably only have one chin.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…