Oh, Thank God

I couldn’t let the day pass without posting something at least remotely fuckable, so here’s the otherworldly hot Candice Swanepoel, who as it turns out is very fuckable. She’s so fuckable in fact, that I’m fucking her right now. With my mind. Awww, yeah. You like that, baby? I know you d…what? Of course it’s in. What do you mean? Well, put this pillow under your ass and let’s see if y…well, what do you want to do, your majesty? It’s all about you, you, you, isn’t it? Look, you know what? You come home, I have candles lit, I plucked all these rose petals off and put them in the bathtub, you know roses have thorns on them right? This wasn’t really a fun day for me. I burnt the souffle, that’s what that smell is by the way, I accidentally put your delicates in the dryer, the dog threw up in the hall, did you get his pills? I thought you got his pills. The delivery man didn’t bring my Pampered Chef again today I really don’t know what their problem is I thought about calling customer service but I was close to a breakdown when I found out about Cheryl asking Kyle for a divorce, but I do all this for you and this is the thanks I get? Well, fine! Oh, please. I’m not being crazy! You just shut down like always when all I want to do is talk to you! Why WON’T YOU TALK TO ME??!!