Every shitty actor in Hollywood is in New Year’s Eve, the sequel to the equally shitty Valentine’s Day. So of course Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher were cast. Every time I see Lea Michele dressed up like this, I always wonder where the rest of the contestants in the evening gown portion of the Jewish Transvestite Pageant are, then I realize she’s the only one competing. But that doesn’t matter. Because Ashton Kutcher will literally fuck anything. No, really. Anything. NASA could announce they just found signs of vagina on Mars and he would immediately be on Priceline checking Mars’ hotel ratings.