Robert Pattinson Is Forcing Kristen Stewart To Marry Him

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The very first time Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson publicly acknowledged they were dating was the public apology Kristen Stewart issued for banging director Rupert Sanders for six months and blowing him in his car. So of course the first thing you’d want to do with that kind of woman is to marry her. Daily Star reports:

Rob told Kristen the only way he can forgive her affair is if she truly commits to him. “Rob has been keen to marry Kristen for quite a while and he doesn’t want to get back with her unless he knows she means it for life too. “Although Kristen broke Rob’s heart he has realised he can’t live without her. He never stopped loving her and he believes she still loves him. “He is desperate to make it work and wants to give her another chance but not unless she proves she really wants it too.”….“They have both talked openly about marriage before and she’s been telling him for years that she doesn’t want to rush into anything. “But Kristen will do anything to get back with Rob now and one of the conditions is to discuss getting married and the future. Rob is very romantic and traditional.”

If love has taught us anything, it’s that if you date a girl and she cheats on you, forcing her to marry you will in no way make her feel trapped. She’ll never cheat on you again and the rest of your life will be filled with passion and trust, because women love being given ultimatums and men who dictate their lives out of shame and guilt. They should go ahead and make this wedding a two-part special on E!, because this is sure to last forever.

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