Scarlett Johansson Had A Baby, Didn’t Give It A Dumb Name

 

Good job, Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson is a first-time mom. A spokesman for the 29-year-old actress told The Associated Press Thursday that Johansson and her fiance, Romain Dauriac, have welcomed a baby girl, whom they’ve named Rose. Marcel Pariseau says mother and daughter are doing well.

Since she’s a celebrity, it was hit or miss on whether or not this kid was going to be named Helicopter Sage or some other dumb shit, but luckily for the kid, her name is Rose. Despite maybe avoiding passenger liners that claim to be unsinkable, Rose should have a pretty okay life. But ya’ll really need to stop giving your kids these stupid names. Seriously. If I was black, my name would probably be Catoddre, and if I was white, my name would probably be Theongreyjoy . None of these look particularity good on a resume.

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