Florida Man Asked to Stop Masturbating in Front of Window Sets Building on Fire Instead

Well, that escalated rather quickly.

What seems on the surface like a pretty simple and legitimate request for a 58-year-old man to stop tugging on his yogurt-slinger in front of his open windows and front door somehow led to first-degree arson charges after the man reportedly responded to the complaint by setting the building on fire.

No one was injured in the blaze, but four families were left homeless and 28 units had to be evacuated. But it’s tough to say how long they’ll be scarred with the mental image of Kenneth Haskins rubbing one out while standing in his doorway for the entire complex to see:

Police didn’t confirm whether or not he saw The Ring earlier this week, but did say Haskins shot himself in the face with a shotgun years ago, resulting in the cross between Rocky Dennis and a bald Kenny Rogers seen in his mugshot. Yikes.

Haskins is being held without bail at the Orient Road Jail, where we’re pretty sure they’ll have a different way of “requesting” that he stops spanking it.

(via Tampa Bay Times)

More trials and tribulations of ‘Florida Man’ – Florida Man: The Comic

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