Dude Squeezes Friend’s Testicles, Gives Him a Heart Attack

I’ll be honest. If you have the stones to run up and grab my nuts, you better be the fastest man in Southern California because as soon as I get my bearings, I’m going to rip yours off.

Sadly, a 17-year-old kid in Ireland hasn’t gotten that opportunity yet since he’s still in a medically-induced coma after a friend “jerked his scrotum,” a maneuver that resulted in the poor bastard suffering a heart attack.

According to the New York Daily News, as the boy returned to school following a lunch break, he and his friends began joking around. That’s when one of them yanked on his nards and sent him into cardiac arrest.

A nearby teacher and one of the friends quickly performed CPR on the lad until paramedics arrived. He is apparently in stable condition, but you know this is going to haunt him for the rest of his life. His name is going to get out sooner or later, and he’ll find himself in a pub years from now introducing himself to a sexy redhead. Only her response will be something like, “You mean the same Shamus O’Flaherty who had a heart attack when another guy yanked on his dangly bits?”

And that, kids, is why my friends and I just play Madden.

Here’s a prank that’s actually funny: Comedian Scares Blonde Girlfriend (22 Times)

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