Photo: Design Pics (Getty)
You’ve yelled and cried on the phone, you’ve deleted all the pictures, you’ve burned all the clothes. You’re officially done with your ex and you don’t expect to run into them ever again. But since life likes to screw with us from time to time, you will run into them again. Here are the worst places to run into your ex.
10. On A Date
You felt good taking your date to Chipotle, but that awfulness you feel in your stomach isn’t because of that burrito you just stuffed your face with, it’s because a few tables away your ex is also on a date. Damn you, Chipotle, and your now ebola-free (I think) inviting food.
9. At The Movies
The scariest thing about this movie is running into your ex in a dark room. At least your ex can’t see you working those peripherals. Thanks, low-lighting. And shout-out to those over the top Michael Bay action scenes that are currently drowning out your explicit muttering.
8. At The Gym
A little part of you wants to get all fit, so if you ever do run into your ex again you can show them what they are missing. The only problem is that you ran into them at the starting phase of your “go fuck yourself, I’m hot now” journey. Now all they see is the sad sack they dumped. Thanks for nothing, gym membership I will now use to open locked doors.
7. At A Concert
How the hell are you supposed to enjoy the sounds of Bey now that your enemy will be dancing along to her tunes as well? OK, singing along to Beyonce was your “thing,” when you were a couple, but now your ex should have retired that thing so you could enjoy it all alone without interference. No “Drunk in Love,” Queen B. Just drunk.
6. An Elevator
Since you don’t care about getting fit now, taking the stairs is out of the question, so it’s back to your good friend, the elevator. And what’s more terrible than getting stuck in an elevator? Running into your ex in one. Now you’re in a tiny space filled with awkwardness and resentment.
5. A Plane
Photo: Universal Pictures
Forget about running into them in an elevator, how about while you’re 28,000 feet in the air? Hell, you would sit in the middle seat on a 18-hour flight rather than have to share the same sky with your ex. You can’t even confidently ask for another bag of peanuts because they will probably overhear you and roll their eyes, as they confirm the fact that you’re still a gluttonous bastard.
4. On Vacation
Photo: Universal Pictures
All you wanted to do was get away from the person that you have an inkling runs hell part-time. And what occurs? You see that terrible piece of your past sunbathing near you. How dare your ex steal your sun. That’s your sun, your sandy beaches and your vacation.
3. A Funeral
Of course you had to share the same friends, now one of them is more dead then your love is, and you have to see them again. You can’t even focus on this montage featuring “Everybody Hurts” because you’re distracted by your ex’s fake tears. That’s right, squeeze out more of those same fake tears you cried for me, you creature from the black lagoon, you.
2. At a Job Interview
Photo: A&E
No, your ex won’t end up interviewing you like a sassy Anne Hathaway movie you’ll see on a flight. They will just be in the same waiting lobby. Nothing like an awkward silence to kill those job interview nerves.
1. Your Wedding
The one place you never want to run into your ex is your own damn wedding. Of course no one invited your ex, but they showed up anyway because it’s the final hurdle in this game. Now they are sitting at the random people table eyeing you down, as you wonder if the cake your scarfing down is filled with poison, or even worse…fruit!
