You’re not a creeper. We know this. But women might not, especially if you exhibit certain behaviors. While you may not be aware you’re acting creepy, the effect remains: you’re scaring off the ladies. We’ve rounded up the most offensive (and often subtle) actions that men commit around women. Check yourself and correct yourself if you ever hope to have a happy interaction with a woman again.
Cover Photo: Rick Gomez (Getty Images)
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Creepy Dudes
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Silent, sustained eye contact.
Simmering eye contact is sexy in small doses, especially if it precedes you introducing yourself. But silent, sustained eye contact with no follow-through is predatory.
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Suggestively nodding and grinning.
Use your words. Don't just make weird facial expressions and gestures at her.
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Staring at her boobs.
Her eyes are up here, caveman.
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Sniffing her hair.
Of course her hair smells great, but she's a person, not a perfume sample. Keep your sniffer at least three feet away.
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Commenting on her workout.
For some women, the gym is an escape. But without fail, there's always a dude hogging the weight machines, just waiting to drop some crude "compliment" on her kick-ass thighs. Keep your thoughts off her body.
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Lurking.
If you must approach a woman, don't do it from behind. It feels terrifying. Approach from the front so she can run away if she needs to.
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Grabbing.
Some men feel entitled to literally bump into women. Not cool. Keep your hands to yourselves, gentlemen, unless she asks you to put them on her.
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The unsolicited shoulder massage.
We really shouldn't have to explain this one. Eww.
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Laughing to yourself.
She has no idea what's so funny and she really doesn't want to find out.
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Making inappropriate jokes.
Things that aren't funny: your dick, flashing, rape, pedophilia, racism, sexism, misogyny. Basically, you need better jokes.
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Liking too many posts.
A little attention is nice; too much is creepy. This is doubly true if you like a bunch of old posts on her timeline. She'll wonder how long you've been scrolling through her feed.
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Sending too many texts or emails in a row.
Two. You can send two texts in a row. That's all you get. After that, wait for a response. If she sees a string of ever-more-desperate messages from you, she's going to wonder if you're needy (at best) and if you're a psycho (at worst).
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Pouring it on too thick, too soon.
Flattery might get you somewhere...unless you do it in excess. It may be that everything she says and does blows your mind, but try to temper your amazement, especially when you're just getting to know her.
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Showing up unannounced.
A woman's home is her safe space. You are not allowed there unless explicitly invited. One surprise visit and you have earned stalker status.
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Showing off your muscles.
It's great that you work out and she will probably appreciate all those reps if you make it to the getting naked stage of your relationship, but it's much more attractive if you're humbly confident, not cocky, about how cut you are.
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Showing too much tongue.
Put that thing back in your mouth.
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Telling her she should smile.
She does not exist for your viewing pleasure. When something makes her happy, she'll smile. So stop being creepy and make her fucking happy.
