Jeff Bezos, the world’s richest man, has finally announced he’s stepping down as CEO of Amazon. After starting the company in his garage with a small loan from his parents and a list of investment contacts made on Wall Street, Bezos quickly transformed the way we shop, turning e-commerce from a novel concept into the most profitable industry on the planet. Now after two and half decades at the helm (and a $192 billion increase in personal wealth), Bezos is retiring.
But what will he do with all that coin?
Plenty of speculation has rolled in from all across the business world. Predictions range from building a Martian colony via his Blue Origin space fleet (watch out, Elon) to crafting the world’s largest bong through his Seattle-based holdings in the glass-blowing company, Glassybaby. With his billion-dollar fingers in so many pots, there’s no telling where Bezos will land next. One thing’s for sure, he won’t be working on his tan.
After closely studying the tech titan’s business maneuvers over the years, we’ve come up with a shortlist of exciting new ventures we trust Bezos will be blowing his fortune on in the very near future. All other prognosticators step aside and make way for the Mandatory Jeff Bezos Guide to Quickly Blowing Through Your Early Retirement.
Cover Photo: Mint (Getty Images)
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Jeff Bezos Retirement Spending
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1. Produce and Direct 1,000 New Seasons of 'Game of Thrones' Starring Jeff Bezos
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2. Shoot Donald Trump Into Space 420 Times
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3. Procure Four Billion, Seven Hundred and Fifty Million Viagra Pills
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4. Buy Every Major League Baseball Team (And Give Them A Brain Freeze)
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5. Pay Off All Private Student Loan Debt
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6. Purchase Every Single Lotto Ticket Sold In America For The Next Five Years
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7. Buy Ice Cream For Every Person Attending An NBA Game For The Next 4,000 Seasons
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8. End Hunger In America... Seven Times