Fake your own death.
It's not quite the same as texting.
Sometimes it's difficult to be a good, attentive boyfriend.
But will she call you "honey" or "sugar?"
Just keep it cool.
Grab a pencil and take notes.
Thorough showers.
The real question is whether you'll want to follow it.
Dear Cosmo, thank you after all.
Mostly because your looks won't do you much good.