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Like a legitimate rape, we’re shutting this whole thing down until Monday. Most of you are probably on a plane and/or drunk by now anyway, so have fun, be safe, and try not to kill a family member. If you do, cut off their hands and remove their teeth then burn them with the oil from the deep fryer. Then move to Mexico. They have Internet there, so we can pick all this back up on Monday.
With the Sochi Olympics right around the corner, what implications could this have on the 29-year-old winning back-to-back gold medals?
