Gamblin’ With Gary: 12-20-13

I hate to admit it, but Gary flew a little too close to the sun last week and got burned (specifically by the Saints). I went 2-2, my first non-winning week out of the last seven, but am still a cool 18-8-1 on the season and have the perfect picks to return to glory this weekend. These bets are 100 PERCENT GUARANTEED TO MAKE US ALL RICH, and I am willing to share them with you to prove it. I’m putting my money where my mouth is. Feel free to join me.

CAN’T LOSE BET #1 (College Football)

Louisiana-Lafayette (+1.5) vs. Tulane – Louisiana-Lafayette +1.5

If you can’t resist early college bowl game action, this is the game for you. It comes with a stipulation, though: Only take UL Lafayette if starting QB Terrance Broadway plays. Broadway and the Ragin’ Cajuns were hot (winners of eight straight) until he broke a bone in his forearm during the game on Nov. 30. He was replaced, and UL-L went on to lose by three points. The next week, they only managed to score eight points in a loss using a combo of three different QBs. So basically, with Broadway out, the Ragin’ Cajuns offense sputters. They have a good run game but need Broadway to keep defenses honest. Otherwise, teams with a decent defense like Tulane can simply shut them down. If Terrance plays, bet on Louisiana-Lafayette all the way. They have a much better offense than Tulane with Broadway in and will win. If not, skip this game, and all the others, and go out and have a nice little football-free Saturday.

CAN’T LOSE BET #2 (NFL)

Miami at Buffalo (+2.5) – Buffalo +2.5

The Dolphins are riding high, winners of three straight (five straight against the spread), and are fighting for the last wild card spot in the AFC. So naturally, it’s time for the wheels to fall off. This is the classic set up for a big letdown game, as Miami is coming off a huge last-second win over the Patriots and now has to travel to dreary Buffalo to face a team they should beat. The Bills will be led by backup QB Thad Lewis and looking to play the spoiler — a truly dangerous home dog. Take Buffalo and tell your friends and family to do the same.

CAN’T LOSE BET #3 (NFL)

New Orleans at Carolina – OVER 46.5

If I were to tell you that the Saints have played in the most under games this season in the NFL, you’d probably call me cray-cray and tell me to shut up (or maybe not — I have no idea who my fans are or how they talk), but it’s true. New Orleans’ over/under record is 4-10-0, and Carolina is right behind them at 4-9-1. So, amateur bettors everywhere are going to bet the under and cry when the final score is 38-35. The Panthers score a lot at home, and the Saints have played in five straight under games and are pissed off about their road struggles. It’s time to buck that trend and load up on the over.

CAN’T LOSE BET #4 (NFL)

Oakland at San Diego – UNDER 51.5

I don’t know why, but Raiders-Chargers games are almost always ugly and the favored team loses a lot. But, there is a spicy trend to bet against here, so that’s what you should do. Oakland has not played in an under game since Oct 27 (they pushed on Nov 24 vs. Tennessee), so they are due. And being that they gave up 900 points last week to the Chiefs, I feel like this total is a bit elevated. These two teams hate each other, so both are going to play tough and points will be harder to come by than normal. Take out a second mortgage if you have to, but find a way to bet the under in this divisional matchup.

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