Hindsight is 20/20, but you have to think some eight-year-old girl would have swiped that spider away with her “Hello Kitty” purse in exchange for pack of Bubblicious or something.
According to Huffington Post, a goddamn idiot in Detroit set a gas station on fire over the weekend when he tried to a kill a spider with his lighter.
No, seriously. That actually happened.
Absolute Moron Scared Of Spiders Tries To Kill One With Lighter And Sets Gas Station On Fire
The man told authorities that he was extremely afraid of spiders, so when he opened up his gas tank and saw one crawling around, he felt his only defense was to pull out a 99-cent Bic special and burn that thing to shit.
Technically, he accomplished that, but he also lit the entire pumping station on fire as well. Thankfully, he did have at least one ounce of common sense in his dome, and he found a fire extinguisher to quickly, well, extinguish the flames.
The most surprising part of the story? You guessed it: The state of Michigan said that guy was competent enough to get a driver’s license.
