Jonah Hill showed up to the ESPYS on Wednesday night looking almost completely unrecognizable as the fat belligerent guy he always plays. I would congratulate him, but he’s just another tragic victim succumbing to the Hollywood ideal of beauty. He was never fat, he was just always photographed at the wrong angle and didn’t dress in clothes to fit his shape. Women like real men with curves, not thin men who have the hips of a 10-year old boy. Who does Hollywood think women are? Pedos? Isn’t that right, ladies? I mean, I don’t want to speak for you.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…