When three months go by and the world remembered to forget you exist after you dressed your baby up as Hitler, you really need to ratchet up the psychosis and desperation in the new year. Enter Tila Tequila, who went on Twitter last night to tell everyone the Earth was flat. Because sunbeams shoot straight down. And the North Pole is always in the same place. And because skyscrapers don’t lean. And something about a media conspiracy against Chipotle.
Look, I’ve tried to preface this the best I could, but trust me when I tell you that nothing will fully prepare you for the caps lock shit show below. Buckle the fuck up.
It’s 2016 & nobodys been able 2 prove 2 me that the earth is round. Where is the curvature in the horizon? #FlatEarth prove me wrong dammit!
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
You’re all gonna feel so fucking stupid when I post the PROOF of the #FLATEARTH should I do it now or later? Either way you lose!
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
HOW COME IN ALL THE FAKE @NASA CGI PICS OF THE EARTH, YOU CAN NEVER SEE BACKGROUND STARS AND PLANETS? OH YEAH CUZ IT’S FAKE! LOL
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
Stanley Kubrick directed the official moon landing! LOL
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
I HAVE SO MUCH PROOF BUT I AM AFRAID I WILL START A PANDEMIC. SO I WILL BE QUIET ABOUT IT NOW TO KEEP HUMANS CALM. https://t.co/FG3tsr4koR
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
When you leave the earth’s atmosphere at 80K feet (which you can’t cuz ur in earth prison) you’ll enter MORE WATER! That’s why sky is blue!
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
“The Others” know that the #FlatEarth is REAL so that’s why they are trying to make me trend to discredit my underground movement.
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
You cannot deny the fact that my tweets string together a lot of unsolved mysteries in your pathetic lives.
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 8, 2016
WHEN YOU SPEAK OF THE TRUTH THE MEDIA WILL ALWAYS TRY TO DISCREDIT YOU! JUST LIKE THEY DID TO CHIPOTLE!
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
SOMEONE TELL ME WHY NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO GO TO ANTARCTICA AND WHY DO ALL THE COUNTRIES HAVE A TREATY THERE OR WHATEVER? #FLATEARTH
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
HERE IS PROOF OF THE FLAT EARTH!!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CURVATURE?? EXACTLY SO STFU! https://t.co/VMgeb1cRtM
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
BUT THE FUCKING MOON IS NOT EVEN NATURAL AND WAS PLACED THERE ARTIFICIALLY BECAUSE IT IS A SPACE SHIP! https://t.co/F86vQIt7Tw
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
I WILL STOP MY #FLATEARTH TALK IF SOMEONE CAN SEND ME A GOD DAMN PHOTO OF THE HORIZON WITH A CURVATURE! OTHERWISE IT IS FLAT!
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
If earth was a spinning globe & the sun is supposedly 150 million light years away then how come the sunrays beam straight down? #FlatEarth
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
If the earth was a spinning globe then how come airplanes can still land w/out crashing? Because the face of the earth is flat. Not a globe.
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
Why are all the buildings in NYC standing straight up? If earth was round then some of the buildings would have a slight tilt. #FlatEarth
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
Not gonna lie, this one’s my personal favorite.
WHEN YOU SPEAK OF THE TRUTH THE MEDIA WILL ALWAYS TRY TO DISCREDIT YOU! JUST LIKE THEY DID TO CHIPOTLE!
— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) January 7, 2016
Tila Tequila Flat Earth
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Tila Tequila Flat Earth #13