The Rock Is Really Running For President

When Republicans throw up a candidate who has no business of winning, Democrats pretty much abandon their base and attempt to copy that model in order to get a win since they don’t know how to do that. Like Conor Lamb, the former Marine, pro-gun, anti-abortion, “Democrat.” As long as a candidate had a (D) in front of their name, that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter if they vote with Republicans most of the time or not. Like Doug Jones, the dude who barely won against a child molester. Then when people thought Oprah was going to run, it was met with, “YASSS QUEEN,” even though the same people had spent two years saying a television personality with no political experience was unfit for office. Anyway, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is on the latest cover of Rolling Stone, so that means he was interviewed. They asked him about the rumor that he plans to run for President. He made a good point.

“I think in a lot of people’s minds, what Trump has proved is that anybody can run for president,” Johnson says. “And in a lot of people’s minds, what he’s also proved is that not everybody should run for president. What I’m sensing now is that we have to pivot back to people who have a deep-rooted knowledge of American history and politics and experience in policy and how laws get made. I think that pivot has to happen.”

Pretty much. The problem with America’s belief that anybody has the chance to be President means that anybody has the chance to be President. That sounds great and all until a corporate spokesman or board member of Goldman Sachs running. Or, you know, Trump. The Rock then basically said he plans to Run for President at some point.

“Republicans, Democrats, independents, mayors, strategists, you name it. Just soaking in and listening. Trying to learn as much as I possibly can. I entertain the thought, and thank you, I’m so flattered by it. But I feel like the best thing I can do now is, give me years. Let me go to work and learn.”

Great. Obviously I wouldn’t tell The Rock why him running would be a horrible idea because I prefer my spine inside my body, so if you’re reading this, Dwayne, may I call you Dwayne? Please don’t do it. I mean, I guess do it if you make Air Force One a helicopter to stay more on brand. But, if he decides to run, he might hit a snag.

“At the time, I just felt like it was either vote for the [candidate] I thought would make a better president than the other, even though I would rather have someone else, or not vote at all. I wrestled back and forth with it. We were on the set of Jumanji in Hawaii, and it really was like calling on the gods. Give me the answer. Ultimately, it was [to not vote].”

He didn’t vote for Hillary? Well, shit. Apparently he’s a sexist. And obviously he’s racist despite being black and Samoan, according to what white woman blue checkmark and Hillary stans tell us because they refuse to believe she generally sucks. So, good luck to you, The Rock. I hope you win, because nothing really matters anyway.