Let’s all agree, social media feuds are the least gangster way to beef. And the latest Twitter feud between Nick Cannon and Eminem feels more like a senior rest home battle for the last packet of apple sauce than, well, actual beef. It all started when former Nickelodeon star Cannon reignited the broiler on a longstanding feud last week, calling Eminem “old” before releasing a diss track alleging sexual relations between Eminem and his chauffeur. In response, Eminem denied ever having a chauffeur and tweeted, “I demand an apology Nicholas, you’ve made my gardener so jealous.”
If you’re new to the world of hip-hop feuds, let’s get one thing straight. They only exist to sell more records. But even so, Jesse from Breaking Bad’s lookalike probably had it coming. Over his 20-year career, he’s singlehandedly packaged more beef than a German sausage factory. So before Nick Cannon’s buddy Suge Knight breaks out of jail (and Eminem’s former labelmate 50 Cent puts down his Vitamin Water) to engage in group fisticuffs, let’s rewind and take a look at the makings of Eminem’s latest beef sandwich.
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eminem diss
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Insane Clown Posse
Way back before Marshall Mathers ever found fame, he advertised an appearance by ICP at his first launch party for the Slim Shady EP. The Clowns had not agreed to this and responded with a resounding, "Fuck that!" The beef lasted a decade before the hatchet was finally buried over a nice evening of beers and bowling. Hardcore.
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Limp Bizkit
Eminem felt betrayed when DJ Lethal casually mentioned on TRL that House of Pain's Everlast could whoop Slim Shady in a fistfight. So he turned his back on the Bizkit crew, lambasting them on the diss track, "Girls". He didn't care that Fred Durst did it all for the nookie; Slim wanted vengeance. To this day, the feud lives on.
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Christina Aguilera
Back in 1999, Eminem secretly married his infamous girlfriend Kim Mathers. Christina Aguilera outed the nuptials on live television, warning women everywhere to steer clear of abusive boyfriends. Whether she was jealous or simply wanted to give an honest PSA regarding ruffians, disses were exchanged for a few years before the pop stars hugged it out backstage at the 2002 VMAs. Crisis averted.
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Machine Gun Kelly
Taking a page out of his mentor's playbook, Kelly dropped dirt on Eminem for several years before releasing his diss track that exploded across hip-hop headlines for a few slow weeks in 2018. While it made for hours of morning radio show fodder, the beef limped along like a three-legged chihuahua before finally passing out beside the dumpster of pointless news.
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Michael Jackson
The king of pop may have had it coming when Eminem's music video trashing Jackson came out in 2004. Ridiculing his plastic surgery and allegations of sexual assault, the video was a brutal diss without warning. But when Jackson let it be known that his feelings were hurt because he admired Eminem as an artist, the rapper apologized for his behavior, chalking it up to just another silly joke gone awry.
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Mariah Carey
After she denied ever having dated Mathers in a 2002 interview with Larry King, Eminem realized his life's purpose: to prove that they had indeed dated. He released several diss tracks claiming as much, eventually roping in Cannon. Em even played voicemails at live shows that Carey (supposedly) left him during the height of their romantic shenanigans. Dude, let it go.
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Will Smith
In his acceptance speech for Best Male Video at the 1999 VMAs, Will Smith said he didn't have to curse to sell records. Always ready to feel insulted, Eminem took that as a personal attack and immediately entered the studio to record another diss track. But Smith was so busy making movies that he didn't notice the diss until six years later when he clapped back with a diss track of his own. But by that time, nobody could even remember what the argument was about.
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Moby
Really? Yes. After Moby called Eminem misogynistic and homophobic at the 2001 Grammys, Em blew a fuse. He sprinkled Moby into his Will Smith diss track, challenging the electro-pop producer to a fight. Moby was unruffled by the imbroglio. In response, he shrugged his shoulders and went back to letting Gwen Stefani lick his head.
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Ja Rule, Benzino, Canibus, Cage, Everlast, Etc...
Looking back at the long list of Eminem feuds, one thing becomes apparent: Detroit's great white hope has built his career on pointless feuds, making more adversaries than albums. So rather than demanding an apology for another meaningless rift, why not just sit down and enjoy the beef sandwich you’ve been making yourself for the past 20 years. Uh oh, did we just start another Eminem beef?
