Despite rap legends Dr. Dre, Eminem, and Kendrick Lamar performing at this year’s Super Bowl, fans are split on the value of the halftime show. Probably because it’s like a mixed bag of jelly beans. Sometimes the innocent-looking bean turns out to be vomit-flavored.
On the one hand, it’s a bedazzled spectacle filled with famous performers trotting out hit songs. On the other, it’s an overlong and bloated extravaganza that interrupts the most important game of the season. And if your team just happened to claw their way back to a two-point deficit at halftime, you don’t want that momentum interrupted by Snoop Dogg singing a duet with Celine Dion as small children dressed as ice elves are fired from American flag cannons.
But then again, you might be in the camp that believes the halftime show is better than the game itself. And the only thing that makes hanging out in a room overripe with hot wings and farts all day worthwhile.
We see both sides of the bowl. And that’s why today we bring you this list of halftime performances ranked from truly awful to scandalously sexy. Because what better illustration of the insane spectrum of life is there than halftime at the Super Bowl? So hurry up, grab a chip and dig in.
Cover Photo: Focus On Sport (Getty Images)
Super Bowl halftime show ranked 2022
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10. Black Eyed Peas - 2011
It takes a very special talent to make music as an entire art form feel like it was one massive mistake. Not even Usher doing the splits could save the Black Eyed Peas from ruining the vibrational harmonics of the universe. If aliens happened to arrive on earth just at that moment, who could blame them for obliterating earth to make way for a hyperspace bypass?
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9. New Kids on the Block - 1991
Everything changed when New Kids on the Block handled halftime duties for Super Bowl XXV. For the first time, marching bands were replaced with pop stars, opening up the money-making potential of the big game. Of course, with new ideas come new problems to troubleshoot. And the New Kid's performance was so bad, ABC cut away from it after just three minutes to discuss the War in Iraq. Fun.
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8. Gloria Estefan - 1992
The second year of halftime pop didn't fare much better. But like a small child cramming a round peg into his nose, the NFL kept at it, this time with Gloria Estefan and an army of dancing Minnesotans. Look up "lame" in the dictionary and it will link to this.
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7. The Weeknd - 2021
For a guy famous for singing, he sure had trouble hitting any right notes to kickoff his seemingly coke-addled performance. Shelling out $7 million to create his set-piece wasn't enough to save one of the worst mid-game interludes we've ever witnessed. At least it wasn't as bad as NKOTB.
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6. Red Hot Chili Peppers and Bruno Mars - 2014
The Chili Peppers took some flack after rumors circulated that the band had lip-synced their performance with Bruno Mars. Eventually, bassist Flea admitted it was true, confirming how much the NFL loves to Disney-fi even the most inflammatory bands around. It was a sad day for live music fans around the globe.
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5. Beyonce - 2013 & 2016
Here we cross the bridge away from awful and into sexy. With her Jessica Rabbit strut, Beyonce turned heads when she headlined the show in 2013. And while most artists use extravagant set pieces Bey kept it simple, letting the attention fall entirely on her. A few years later, her debut of 'Formation' really cemented her status as a Super Bowl legend.
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4. Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson - 2004
Still considered the most scandalous moment in halftime show history, Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" sent more than eyeballs bulging. Watching it now, it 100 percent looks like J.T. meant to rip Janet's boob cup off. A relationship squabble for all to see or an act of mainstream subversion? Scandalous either way.
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3. M.I.A. - 2012
In M.I.A's brief cameo during a Madonna Super Bowl set, she raised her longest finger in sultry defiance. After 222 people complained (out of 110 million) the NFL sued the singer for a ridiculous $16 million. No one knows who the middle finger was directed at, but taking a moment to finger the whole world is sexy as hell.
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2. Shakira and J. Lo - 2020
If hips don't lie, a pair of them speaks the truth. Yes, even with the sound off, Shakira and J. Lo mesmerized with seductive swivels and swoops. But the best part was Shakira's belly dance in the middle of her set as tribal drums and a pungi set the mood for some major snake charming. Why can't we just have 12 minutes of belly dance?
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1. Prince - 2007
The late great Prince raised the bar on what a halftime show could be. Flitting between classic hits and unexpected covers, the legend owned the stage with tasteful showmanship. For once, the sound quality was actually great as crowds rushed the field, forgetting about the Super Bowl for 12 glorious minutes while Prince rocked the stadium. And like a demi-god, he made the sky weep tears of joy (right on cue) as 'Purple Rain' crescendoed into a moment of pure Prince perfection.
