Believe in Reptilian Overlords, chemtrails or the singularity theory, and are tired of all the meaningless, ignorant sex you get from Tinder and OKCupid? Craving something deeper? Well, there is hope – a dating app has launched exclusively for Truthers and The Woke called Awake Dating.
Still in the beta stage, the app is very much in its infancy but the populous is exploding like a building strapped with explosives. As reported by Pedestrian, there’s now a respectable 110 Australians on the service so, if you’re itching to riff about what’s really happening at Pine Gap, Whether Harold Holt was a Chinese spy or that Kevin Rudd Is actually a cyborg, you won’t be alone.
The app was created by self-described Woke person Jarrod Fidden, who explains the idea came to him from an alien implant when he and his wife woke about two years ago and realized just how difficult it was to find love when you know Bush was behind 9/11, because you saw something on YouTube once.
“Knowing and discussing ‘socially inconvenient conclusions’ distances one from most everyone who has yet to engage in their own research. Your family, former friends, and colleagues will prefer to brand you as ‘cracked’ for speaking what you perceive as truths.”
The lonely Truthers can now collaborate on their theories, share vital leaked documents and also David Ike and chill, just like normal people and the best bit is, you can wear your foil hat on the date and or in bed. To get a rough idea of who else will be on the app, be sure to give their ‘catchy’ radio ad jingle a spin.
But of course, who would stand to gain the most out of collecting all the personal and sexual information of Truthers and those who seek answers? Who would want to know where Truthers are meeting, when and exactly what they’ll be discussing?
The Illumanti. Awoke Truthers has 11 letters in it. Date has 4 letters. Together that’s 15 letters. 15 is a multiple of 3. Three sides to a triangle…Illumanti confirmed!
LISTEN: Awake Dating radio ad
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