Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty) / chuuch (Twitter)
Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends later and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Funny Tweets 1-20-17
This TV just passed the NFL’s concussion protocol. pic.twitter.com/C0wpgcU3LY
— Don Van Natta Jr. (@DVNJr) January 16, 2017
DRIVERS! PLEASE BE COURTEOUS TO STUDENT PEDESTRIANS AND hit us going full speed please
— callie (@CallieDoucet) January 11, 2017
See. I’m about to get in a fight. pic.twitter.com/kJT7I7aaGx
— Dab of Lawrence (@Corporate_Rich) January 10, 2017
dudes on twitter: saw this girl just breathing out in the open smh. y’all see rihanna breathe think u can too. smh my daughter will never
— jaboukie young-white (@jaboukie) January 12, 2017
TWO BIDET COMPANIES ARE BEEFING ON MY TIMELINE pic.twitter.com/808Y3JNdRH
— Steve Zaragoza (@stevezaragoza) January 12, 2017
“This house has been haunted for 30 years, everyone who has ever walked in has mysteriously disappeared.”
White people: pic.twitter.com/jEAbyYmBI5
— Jack (@JaackSavy) January 13, 2017
My girlfriend’s hairclip nearly put me in cardiac arrest… pic.twitter.com/B5sBG0Ku9t
— holmes (@unclehxlmes) January 7, 2017
Folks, some shocking allegations coming across my facebook newsfeed pic.twitter.com/66ycNvDyqE
— Dan (@dankmtl) November 6, 2014
“Look at me, im de captain now” pic.twitter.com/UZEtUiGdGs
— ⎋ (@AkatsukiPapi) January 11, 2017
[Starbucks meeting]
ME: Sorry I’m “latte” haha
BOSS: Aren’t you the guy we fired for biting a customer— Michael (@Home_Halfway) December 20, 2016
LMAOOOOO Yeah He is Deff going to Jail pic.twitter.com/dA2MulkYQN
— Young Fox (@PrinceKFox) January 12, 2017
Came up to me while I was pumping gas. Dew just likes to adventure pic.twitter.com/9C13t8WR4X
— Tyler Wilson (@502_Wilson) January 14, 2017
that feeling when you realize DEADPOOL is probably going to be nominated for Best Picture. pic.twitter.com/gGpbbn7pli
— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) January 10, 2017
Fellas, I just spent 2 whole hours arguing and searching the dustbin to prove to my girl that this missing piece is not from a condom. pic.twitter.com/zLxERx1ig4
— Daddy Ibadan (@OneIyanu) January 11, 2017
someone just tweeted “do crabs think fish are flying” and i just know this is all i’ll think about for the rest of the year
— mango (@hoeroins) January 13, 2017
Trump has two settings:
1) A student giving a presentation without doing the readings
2) An angry customer who wants to talk to your manager— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) January 11, 2017
2006: lol our president says words funny
2017: hope i don’t die bc the president subtweeted kim jong-un— chuuch (@ch000ch) January 14, 2017
“your uber is arriving now”
me: pic.twitter.com/PA4rjL1heH
— mike from 79th. (@curatedbymike) January 13, 2017
Saw my bf driving out of ICM with a lady, i knocked the window, he whined down and he said “sorry i dont have change” https://t.co/08ehuBlY57
— Eyon SOLID STAR (@0m0t0ke) January 3, 2017
America transitioning into Trump’s presidency pic.twitter.com/rhL2rwVViW
— reggie (@1942bs) January 11, 2017