You finally find a someone who’s into a no-nonsense, purely physical arrangement. Call it a booty call, friends with benefits, loveless sex, whatever. The trouble is that usually at least one of you ends up catching feelings, which is why we want to stress the importance of the delicate art of not leading someone on.
You wish you had the answers to such a sensitive area, but you don’t. Luckily, Kate Quigley has some risky tips that will keep a “booty call” just a booty call. If love is not what you’re looking for, let’s make sure it stays that way and hopefully no one gets hurt. Follow these simple guidelines, paying specific attention to the first, for a successful, clearly defined, physical relationship.
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Booty Call 2
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Be clear: You're not looking for more.
There has to be mutual understanding that this is strictly physical. This is probably one of the most, if not the most important tip here.
Without clearing defining what it is, sex can quickly get out of hand and become a relationship (not that that's such a bad thing). But if you aren't looking for love, make it known. Kill the idea before it becomes one.
A guy on Twitter once said told me, “I don’t want to lead you on. I don’t want a girlfriend or even to go out on dates. I’m too swamped with my career. But I’m dying to get my hands all over you.”
No man had ever been that clear with his intentions in my life. And guess what? It worked! We agreed to have one drink out to see if we had chemistry, then he became my first and longest-lasting strictly sexual situation.
Refrain from kissing outside of sex.
Another great tip: Keep the kissing to coitus. Kissing during sex is already pushing it, but hello and goodbye kisses are leading them onto the next practical idea, which is: I love you, have my babies.
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Don't introduce her to your friends and family.
Bringing your booty call out with your friends is the complete opposite of what a booty call is supposed to be. It's also awkward for everyone, plus it will blur the lines of the relationship and you run the risk of injecting them into your group of friends. Next thing you know, she’s shopping buddies with your best friend’s wife, and you’re introducing her to your future girlfriend at the next BBQ. Talk about a party!
In fact, never go out.
You’re hungry, horny and bored, but the only one who is able to join you is your booty call? Take her with you, and I promise you now have a girlfriend. Going out only allows opportunity for bonding, and that my friends is the kryptonite to your stringless relationship. That goes for you too, ladies. Don't bait a guy out for a date, you know how much we love cheese!
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Avoid compliments altogether.
Unless you are telling her she’s the best you’ve ever had, don't go handing out compliments. Encourage the sexual drive so the success of the physicality can confidently continue, but don't bring emotions into it. Let her know it's working for you, and ladies, lie to us and tell us we're the best (and biggest, even though we know you're lying). Still feels good!
Speaking of which, no pet names.
You should both (maybe you're wild and there's three or more of you) be on a strict first-name basis. If you want to call her "babe," "baby," "dear," "love," know that you're only asking for a relationship. It's easy to slip, but remember to ask yourself: Are you looking for love or just action? Maybe remind each other of your mission statement from the start of this.
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Keep it fresh (and no gifts)!
But let's be honest here, nobody wants the same boring positions. That's what marriage is for (wink)! The whole point of a stringless situation is that you enjoy each other and move on. If that's boring, you've got nothing.
No gifts, unless it can be used in the bedroom.
The only gift exchange that should be happening is the gift of the big O, nothing more and nothing less. Unless it's something to help get the big O.
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Don't text in between. And be consistent.
Don't ask how their day was if you don't care. If you do care, you're not a booty call. You're into her and have commitment issues.
Keep the focus.
Don't stray from these tips or cut corners. Be consistent. If you leave five minutes after the dirty every time, do not allow a sixth minute to pass inside that sex den. The minute it becomes about more than sex, it's not what you set out for in the first place.
If you follow these tips, especially the first one, they can’t get upset about what follows. The second it becomes something else, someone has to raise a flag and cut them from the lineup, or some other sports analogy.
Good luck!
