Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarity that is still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum. Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry, you poor bastard. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
Live footage of me deciding to move into a new apartment on the hottest day of summer in Phoenix https://t.co/sXuf85UyYo pic.twitter.com/L6Zpiin5GO
— Danielle Woodward (@d__woodward) July 31, 2020
Nothing depresses me more than keto substitutions for bread.
— Desi (@DesiJed) July 29, 2020
https://twitter.com/DanaWhissen/status/1288962843530780672
Hey secret police, if you EVER kidnap me and throw me in a rental van I will shit so bad inside that van. I hope your unconstitutional asses are ready to pay $1,700 to get my grown man feces outta that Chrysler Pacifica and whatnot.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) July 30, 2020
What do you think Dr. Fauci does after someone who just asked him again about hydroxychloroquine leaves his office? pic.twitter.com/GlKeYYZnBp
— Tony (@RandomVillain) July 30, 2020
Final Destination 6 is just the whole fucking world sitting inside their homes cause they know they’re on the list.
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) July 31, 2020
If you watch #drpimplepopper Something is definitely wrong with you…… ME too.
— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) July 31, 2020
And if you want to squeeze limes instead of using margarita mix, go nuts. It’s Wednesday, and idgaf
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) July 30, 2020
if the government puts a chip in my brain i hope it’s a cool ranch dorito. haha. i thought of this. hoping it gets to 400k likes so i can link my venmo underneath and get sent a total of $7
— chet porter (@chetporter) July 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/BrianLynch/status/1288961330410528769
When your wife witnesses the video game rage
Full video: https://t.co/oBVAP0KQj5 pic.twitter.com/nkhsc7nDb1
— Miro (@ToBeMiro) July 23, 2020
I wish I could be as publicly dumb and bad at my job as a republican congressman
— Dana Schwartz – on hiatus (@DanaSchwartzzz) July 29, 2020
Is this you @robdelaney? https://t.co/JuVDAtMl5N
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) July 29, 2020
https://twitter.com/yannhatchuel/status/1288856253150699526
It’s illegal now to make Trump trend unless you’re saying nice things. New law, he just tweeted about it. Thank you, Sir! This the GOOD kind of Cancel Culture! https://t.co/12aH1RpHMd
— James Urbaniak (@JamesUrbaniak) July 28, 2020
The best of both worlds: Funny Gaming Memes of the Week
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