Just when you thought politicians couldn’t get any slimier, you see a story like this one. It’s too bad, because many considered former Minnesota governor Mark Dayton to be one of the good guys. Turns out he’s just one of those guys.
On Sunday, the 73-year-old politician announced via Facebook that he had taken a bride – an ex-campaign aide the tender age of 32. In the spirit of getting ahead of bad press (we assume), Dayton released this statement with the above photo of the newlyweds.
I am delighted to reach out to you in these challenging times with some very happy news: After twenty years of bachelorhood, I am now a married man! Well-wishers, with whom I share my news, often ask me, “Who is the lucky lady?” But that is the wrong question, for it is I who am the lucky man. My wife, formerly Ms. Ana Orke, now Ana Dayton, is smart, compassionate, tough, funny, and impossibly good at Scrabble!
She is also 41 years my junior.
I know our age difference (I am 73; she is 32) will surprise many of you. The truth is, the feelings that developed between Ana and me, given our age difference, surprised us too, at first. But as we grew to know each other, we realized that the love binding us is far deeper and more meaningful than the years that separate us. You will not be surprised to learn that politics (in addition to winning at board games) is important to us both. Ana worked for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign during the 2008 primaries, and for my gubernatorial campaign in 2010. Then we lost touch, until we ran into each other in Minneapolis a couple of years ago. The rest is happy history.
Normally we’d say, “He’s old enough to be her father!” but in this case, he’s old enough to be her grandfather. And before you say, “He’s young at heart,” um, no he’s not. This is the same guy who collapsed in the middle of a State of the State address in 2017. The following year he was hospitalized for almost a month due to complications from back surgery and this past summer he slipped and hit his head, again requiring hospitalization. Basically, the guy’s clock is ticking.
While we understand why Dayton would overlook the age gap, it’s harder to understand his new wife’s reasons for wanting to get married to such an old geezer. Just kidding. She’s totally a gold-digger. In case you don’t recognize the last name, Dayton is part of the family that owns Target. His 92-person clan was estimated to be worth $1.6 billion in 2015. (And from what we’ve heard, the pandemic has been a boon for Target, so we can only imagine what he’s worth now.)
But we won’t judge. That’s what Twitter is for. Here are a handful of our favorite hot takes.
https://twitter.com/kathrynw5/status/1335949972198416387?s=20
Hot take, it's weird to marry someone 41 years older or younger than you
— Jimmy (not one of those) Rothschild(s) (@Pale_0ntologist) December 7, 2020
I need to snag me one for a pension check pic.twitter.com/lmuRskeI0y
— Elle (@ElleChanel) December 7, 2020
mark dayton with a real "now i know how this looks but" post
— joey daniewicz (@joeydaniewicz) December 7, 2020
"I know our age difference (I am 73; she is 32) will surprise many of you."
It's really not surprising at all given that Mark Dayton's family is worth over $1.5 billion. https://t.co/EpA04UkaBl
— The Darkest Timeline Numbersmuncher (@NumbersMuncher) December 7, 2020
congrats to mark dayton and his new wife pic.twitter.com/FPDKo6rx1w
— taylr (@taylr) December 7, 2020
https://twitter.com/lobotlives/status/1335778367942037504?s=20
I like Mark Dayton, but this is creepy.
— ? Eubie Drew ⵣ (@EubieDrew) December 7, 2020
just saw the mark dayton news and honestly, when most of the headlines led with his name&age, was kinda thinking they were gonna say he was dead?
— foot in mouth disease? (@13wildhare) December 7, 2020
https://twitter.com/anton612/status/1335775162952798209?s=20
It’s like you people just found out Mark Dayton is a Grade-A Weirdo.
— Jeff Kolb (@jpkolb) December 7, 2020
His back must be better. Good for them. Congratulations
— Victoria Williams (@Victori38914224) December 7, 2020
All we can say is thank goodness they didn’t share any pics or details from the wedding night. *Shudder*
Cover Photo: Liz Banfield / Facebook
Biden vs. Trump: Which Political Candidate Has Better Hair?
MORE NEWS:
LOL USA: The 20 Funniest Post-Election Tweets to Soak Up Your Tears and Anxiety
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Weird News 10-07-2020
-
News Anchor Accidentally Says Another Member of White House Tests Positive For Cocaine, Well He May Not Be Wrong
-
Three-Legged Bear Caught on Camera Stealing Diet Coke From Garage, Can’t Taste the Feeling
-
8 Evil Ways the 2020 Presidential Election Will Be Ridiculous and Unprecedented
-
Secret Man Cave Found Under NYC Grand Central Terminal, Still Awaiting Our Invitation to For Distant Group Hang
-
Jaime Harrison Runs Circles Around Lindsey Graham in South Carolina Senate Debate (Watch This Pillsbury Doughboy Get Cooked!)
-
The Best Reaction Tweets to Trump’s COVID-19 Diagnosis
-
Trending #FatBearWeek Pits Bears Against One Another in Adorable Body-Shaming Event
-
Rick Moranis Attacked on New York City Street (Nobody Attacks Rick Moranis in My Country!)
-
Oh, Baby! Pregnant Woman Saves Husband From Shark Attack
-
Trump’s Pathetic Hospital Parade Is a Sad Reminder That Toxic Masculinity Doesn’t Do Sick Days
-
Make America Horny Again: Sex Shop Gives Away Patriotic Vibrators to Encourage Voter Participation
-
‘Get Your Booty to the Poll’ PSA Uses Strippers to Motivate Voters, We Vote Yes!